2008 Lexus

2008 Silverado

The horserace of the century is over. Relive it below if you're still experiencing political withdrawal symptoms.

Obama Holds Rehearsals The Obama administration is shaping up in harmony... Obama wants the Obama Players ready to perform on day one in January 2009. November 19. Chicago Vocal Studios

Baby Please Don't Go Sarah Palin has gone north leaving the lower 48 longing... Hope is alive for a return to the racetrack if Governor Palin appoints herself Senator Palin. November 8. Palin Fan Club HQ

Obama Climbs Mountaintop The hopes and dreams of millions have finally been realized... History was made as Barack Obama has shattered the color barrier forever. November 5. Mount Martin Luther King USA

Obama Yes We Dooby-doo Obama makes history as new top dawg and leader of the pack... No matter what breed of dawg it's a great day for all Americans. November 4. Chicago Celebration Park

Early Voters Favor Obama One day left in longest election of a lifetime... Voters are being reminded to vote everywhere they go. November 3 Swing State Sports Arena.

Racing Season Begins First dude plows to lead after Gov. Palin starts annual event... Palin arrived by snowmobile wearing the traditional snowqueen starters outfit. October 31. Moose Toe Raceway Wasilla AK

Sarah Goes Both Ways Sarah Palin usually winks right but sometimes winks left... Sarah Palin is a favorite among compulsive conservative winkers and non-thinkers. October 25. Winkersville West Virginia

Dumb and Plumber Joe snakes new swamp as uneducated McCain surrogate... Joe the Plumber is now campaigning with John the POW and Sarah the Mooseslayer. October 24. McCain Campaign HQ

Drudge Reports Hoax McCain barn instantly falls for hoax and looks foolish again... A shamed Matt Drudge now wears his backwards B as repentence for blogging sins. October 23. Drudgens and Dragons OTB

McCain Approved Outfits Republicans spend $150,000 playing dress-up with Sarah... Audit shows another $15,000 spent on hair, make-up and camel wax. October 21. McCain Ranch Honeymoon Cabin AZ

McCain Losing In Nevada The craps table has not often been kind to angry gamblers... Experts say angry gamblers often lose control and crap out in the game of craps. October 17. Palms Casino Las Vegas

McCain Needs Comeback Republican says "We've got 'em right where we want 'em"... Going into the final debate McCain is going to have to pull out all the stops. October 14. Presidential Debate Round 3

Sarah Seeks Swing Voters Sarah Palin campaigns in NHL hockey team locker room... Players were not overly impressed since the local TV female sports anchor is hot. October 11. Penguins Locker Room PA

Sarah: "He's An Animal" Palin watchers say First Dude has never been so romantic... Todd Palin reasons that as long as we're in politics we'll need new voters. October 10. Beaverville Airport Nebraska

Cindy Flips Wig At Obama McCains in Ohio spew angry personal attacks on Obamas... Cindy got so mad it was several seconds before she realized her wig flew off. October 9. McCain Rally Heartland OH OTB

McCain Loves A Maverick Sarah Palin says we're darn happy goin' round campaignin'... Sarah's "Maverick" tattoo on her lower back is said to delight McCain endlessly. October 8. McCain Luxury Condo #11

McMaverick Needs Flush Maverick Gal Palin deals ace of spades off bottom of deck... McCain's maverick surge betting strategy hasn't paid off yet and his chips are now all in on a weak hand. October 6. McCain Mountain Maverick Saloon

Palin Preps For Debate Says Miss Alaska contest was good preparation for politics... McCain chose Sarah because she has all the right assets he feels most comfortable with. September 27. McCain Mountain Practice Debate Room

Kissinger Tries Diplomacy Kissinger wants one hour weekly private sessions with Sarah... Sarah said she couldn't understand a word said because of his thick accent but otherwise everything went great. September 24. Kissinger Deli & OTB

Bush Begs For Mercy Bush needs $666 billion to buy back soul he sold years ago... Bush's day of reckoning is coming and his pain will be eternal and in Hell which is much worse than El Paso. September 24. Deep in the Heart of Texas

13 Cars 8 Homes $100M First Lady McCain will keep in touch with the little people... As the owner of 2 private jet planes she can attend ceremonies in her honor too far away to travel by limousine. September 22. McCain Mountain Private Expressway

Honeymoon Bulge Gone Palin lipstick not able to keep McCain up in latest polls... McCain's strategy to create a new surge reportedly includes a blonde wig and a private jet ride with Sarah. September 18. McCain Change Daily Rally

Grandpa Made A Big Mess Economic meltdown due to deregulation philosophy... Republicans McCain and Gramm were the leading advocates of deregulation... September 17. Springfield Town Hall

Sarah Palin No Tina Fey Amy Poehler knows Tina and says Sarah not comparable... Amy says there's no way Sarah Palin is even half as talented as Tina Fey. September 15. SNL Monday Breakfast

McCains Deboned On View Cindy says of TV show hosts "they picked our bones clean!"... The Senator lied to defend lies and Cindy refused to say how many nests they own... September 13. The View Aerial TV

Abstinence Class Expands Palin welcomed home by Alaskan abstinence class students... A baby boom from Alaskan unwed teenage girls proves abstinence from sex education and contraceptives is a highly effective means of creating more babies. September 10. Alaska Welcome Home Sarah Rally

Love Republican Style Giddy Grandpa swoons like a lovestruck teenager... Meanwhile Cindy McCain has been busy jewelry and clothes shopping and flying cross-country in her private jet... September 8. McCain Love Bus One

Grandpa Falls In Love McCain's dream girl now running mate, "Ain't she sweet!"... McCain may be 72 years old but he says he feels a frisky 44 lately. September 7. Ohio Holiday Inn Presidential Suite

McCain says George Who? McCain hiding from George Bush while seeking White House... McCain did not once mention the name George Bush at the GOP convention.. September 6. White House Oil Field One

McCain Roars To Life Says FIGHT WITH ME 27 times amid chants of P...O...W... McCain reiterated for the 2,276th time that he survived almost 6 years as a POW in the Viet Nam war. September 4. Minneapolis Arena of Natural History

GOP Party In Progress Hurricane blows Bush and Cheney out of town... McCain made the conservative evangelical right wing of the party delirious with his flat earth running mate. September 3. Minneapolis Convention Center

McCain Still Former POW POW story losing 24/7 news coverage to Palin roadkill crisis... McCain reiterated that he survived 6 years as a POW by creating mental fantasies of fertile white beauty queens. September 3. PBS Docudrama POW...Prison, Sex and Politics

Putin's Red Nose Revenge Tony Tiger shot in retaliation for shooting death of Rudolph... Santa speaks 114 languages including Russian and reaction to his tearful tirade has sparked international outrage. September 2. PBS Docudrama Tigerkistan Triangle...Trial of Tigers

Santa Cancels Christmas "Sarah Palin shot Rudolph the Reindeer... kiss my Alaska!"... Santa's voice cracked during his emotional and tearful tirade saying "Just a freaking caribou to you!" September 1. PBS Docudrama Santa's Artic Circle...Ring of Destruction

McCain Offers Sex Change McCain swoons for soulmate Palin after eHarmony match up... Palin's belief in teaching creationism and abstinence-only sex education, opposition to abortion (even rape and incest), rejection of global warming as a hoax, and call for a ban on stem cell research, made for a 98% eHarmony match and won McCain's heart immediately. August 31. McCain-Palin Ticket Debut Rally

McCain Searched His Soul McCain campaign insider describes VP selection process... McCain looked far to the north where the sun doesn't shine to find the most unqualified VP nominee in history. August 30. McCain Practice Mansion Bathroom #6

White House Bunny McCain chooses first Republican female VP running mate... McCain shocked everybody by selecting Sarah Palin, a 44 year-old former beauty queen and current Alaska Governor. Cindy, age 54, has been demoted from First Lady to House Bunny. August 29. McCain Arizona Practice Mansion

Mile High Fire Works Obama guts McCain on policies, temperment and judgement... Obama thrilled 85,000 supporters, laid out specific policies, blasted McCain and unified the Democratic party. August 28. Mile High Stadium Denver

For The Love Of God! Biden prays for "No sequel to this tragedy of the last 8 years"... Delaware Senator Joe Biden accepted the Democratic nomination for Vice President and called the Bush/McCain foreign and economic policies abysmal failures. August 27. Democratic Convention

Enough Already Goddamit! Americans eager to say NO to 4 more years of the last 8 years... George Bush and John McCain are one and the same on 95% of all issues and were both named outstanding contributors to the cause of world confligration at an event almost a mile beneath the President's ranch in Texas. August 24. Crawford Caverns Annual Hellicious BBQ

Homes Sweet Homes Forgetful McCain prepares for move into White House... McCain had prepared a soundbite but left his notecard in one of his 26 bathrooms. August 22. McCain Realty Auction

Drill Here Drill Now McCain hits gusher of mindless slogans for undecided voters... McCain promises more real simple slogans for real simple people. August 20. McCain Practice Mansion

The Purpose Driven Lie McCain not in "cone of silence" in clever magic trick... Obama, TV viewers and a church audience were skillfully duped by master magician/author/pastor Rick Warren. August 19. Rich White Neighborhood News

McCain Tells Fairy Tale No whopper too big for McCain and Republican faithful... A new ad being prepared has Jesus Christ himself looking into a camera and endorsing McCain. August 19. Saddleback Church Video Production Studio

McCain Story Plagarized McCain's compelling POW story stolen by dead Russian... "As he waited, head down, he felt a presence. Slowly he looked up and saw a skinny old prisoner sqaut down beside him. The man said nothing. Instead, he used a stick to trace in the dirt the sign of the Cross."A Solzhenitsyn Gulag Archipelago August 18, 1961. KGB News Napkin Book Review

Cone Of Silence? McCain eavesdropping shocks church security guard... McCain condones eavesdropping and plagarism in cases of national security. August 17. Saddleback Church Cone Of Silence

McCain Pans Putin Eyes McCain looked deep but only saw a K, a G, and a B... President Bush apparently misread the letters as a K, a F, and a C. August 14. KGB News Napkin and KFC Menu

Warmongers On Warpath Old men eager to see Armegeddon before Alzheimer's sets in... McCain strategists called the Russian invasion of Georgia a plus for the elderly candidate's campaign and enough to offset McCain's TV's worst comedy act award. August 14. Chickenhawk's Finger Lickin' Lounge

Bush Goes For War Record War President eager to start record third war while in office... Bush is ready to send troops to attack Russians in Georgia on a collossal suicide mission but if he also attacked Iran he could start a Satan-pleasing fourth war and assure his immortality. August 14. White House Master Bathroom Mirror

Georgia On His Mind Obama soulfully promises to defend Ray Charles homeland... Charles family fears Russia invaded Georgia to steal Ray's master recordings. August 13. Moscow Blockbuster Blues Blowout

Mac On The Idiot Box McCain named worst comedy act to have 100 TV appearances... McCain edged out Nipsy Russell by not getting a single laugh during his 17th appearance on The Daily Show. August 12. Celebrity Bee List News

Ridge In VP Olympics McCain feels comfortable with a war hero as his butler... Tom Ridge hasn't carried water since serving as an Army Sargeant in Viet Nam. August 10. McCain Practice Mansion

McCain Comforts Edwards McCain confided he was also once an adulterous scumbag... McCain was 42 when he dumped his wife and kids for a 24 year old Miss Buffalo Chip. August 9. Adulterers Anonymous

Bush/Cheney War Crimes Cheney ordered forged documents that led to Iraq invasion... Both men deserve to be prosecuted and if proven guilty...nah...that won't happen. August 11. SUSSKIND OTB & DELI

Cindy Shipped To Belgium McCain approves sale of Cindy to foreign-owned corporation... Cindy's personal shoppers and their staff will all lose their jobs. August 9. DHL Bon Voyage Party Central OH

Obama Family Related Father, mother and two daughters all live in same house... At least one grandparent on both sides of the family are younger than McCain. August 7. Obama Family Photo Night SD

Romney Too Ready Mitt more than eager to dig into Vice Presidential duties... President McCain looks like he has both feet in the grave next to vibrant Vice President Romney. August 6. McCain White House 2011

Born To Be Wild And Funny Miss Buffalo Chip keeps comedian McCain's motor running... McCain defended entering Cindy in the Sturgis Miss Buffalo Chip contest and added "Va va va Voom!" August 6. Sturgis Wild Hair Salon

McCains Wow Biker Gang Comedian McCain enters Cindy in bawdy beauty contest... Dozens of Sturgis bound bikers revved their Harley-Davidsons in a roar of approval. August 5. Harley Horse Camp SD

McCain New Comedy King Comedian claims victories in both French Fry revolutions... McCain says he's "the One" who knows how to win wars. August 4. McCain Mountain Food Court Throne Room.

Biggest Joke In The World? McCain says his Obama attack ad is a hilarious sidesplitter... McCain added it would a be kneeslapper but after years of dealing with the Bush administration he doesn't bend over anymore. August 2. McCain Improv Comedy Club

Weird Ad Mystery Solved Who's the biggest celebrity in the world of slime politics?... Bizarre new RoveWorld ads are calculated to help McCain somehow. August 1. RoveWorld Media Bldg.

Cantor Ready To Serve Virginia Congressman can help teach McCain how to email... Unknown public servant has temperment to be compatible with McCain. August 2. McCain VP HQ.

Scooby Doo On Short List Vetting process for the Obama family dog almost complete... Barack has promised his children a dog but how big a dog remains undecided. July 30. Chicago Adopt-A-Dog Days

McCain Whacks A Mole McCain was upset that the mole upstaged his oil well skit... McCain stood in the hot sun to say that skin cancer patients should stay out of the hot sun. July 29. McChevron Oilfield #6.

Globetrotter Obama Scores Obama addresses Unity Convention of minority journalists... Barack just back from abroad spoke for 40 minutes without any turnovers or personal fouls. July 28. Chicago Unity Dome

Mac Attacks Obama Trip McCain thinks successful Obama trip was pretentious... McCain was just in Canada, Columbia and Mexico but no one seemed to notice. July 27. McCain/Blackbird Security Inc.

Obama Weak On Defense Obama scores with troops despite lax defense on jump shots... Obama blamed his weak defense on a sore hip from yesterday's game in Afghanistan. July 26. US Army Halliburton Arena

Portman Ready To Serve Ohioan has temperment to be compatible with McCain... McCain received advice from the Burger King on VP selection. July 25. McCain Mountain VP Selection Commitee

Pawlenty Ready To Serve Minnesotan has temperment to be compatible with McCain... McCain received advice from the Burger King on VP selection. July 24. McCain Mountain VP Selection Commitee

McCain Declares Victory Bush awards McCain Silver Star for incongruous victory spin... McCain's battle was waged against the Bush administration, who for years resisted a 10% increase in troop numbers in Iraq. McCain urged all Americans to celebrate McCain's victory. July 23. War College Class Reunion Photo Booth

McCain Visits King King offers McCain part-time job in case of November defeat... McCain's ambidexterous ability to flip burgers pleases the King greatly. July 24. Manchester Burger King Castle.

Banned in Baghdad Iraqi leader Maliki no fan of surf music, likes Obama diddy... McCain's diplomatic efforts will require a new theme song. July 22. KRAQ Radio Baghdad Bottom 100 Countdown.

Obama Hears New Mix Petraeus lays down new tracks without Bush overdubs... A&R dept. says the unfiltered realistic tone of the new tracks is a breath of fresh air. July 21. Big RaQ Records Baghdad.

Rudy Manboobs Enormous Giuliani packs on pounds since humiliating primary defeat... McCain was shocked by the sight of his former once thin rival. July 19. Yankee Stadium All Star Contest.

Terminator Says Not Here California future not connected to offshore oil drilling... The governor says research on alternate energy sources is progressing rapidly. July 19. California Tourism Council.

McCain Flip About Flops Senator McCain on both sides of flip-flop issue... McCain is simultaneously on offense and defense in a seesaw battle. July 19. McCain Mountain Press Box OTB

Bush Legacy In Postage US Postal Service already at work designing stamps... The Postal Service wants to recap the highlights of the Bush presidency. July 18. USPS College of Stamp Design

Democrats Drive Forward A new generation of leadership vehicles has arrived... The gas guzzlers of the past have been replaced with fuel efficient hybrid models. July 17. End Of Era Clearance Sale.

Ready On Day One 1919 McCain can't navigate the internet or send an email... McCain often uses homing pigeons and employs a full time pigeon keeper. July 16. McCain Senate Office Bldg. Roof

Flatulence Empties Studio McLaughlin stops political discussion with eye-burning fart... The talk show host had just called Obama an "Oreo" then cut loose a noxious old man fart that had guests gasping. July 14. Washington D.C. Health and Sanitation Dept.

Cindy Loves Speed & Bud First Lady McCain will promote Budweiser and auto racing... As owner/operator of the #3 beer distributor in America, Cindy aims to be number #1. July 12. McCain Mountain Raceway

Lame Duck On China Menu Obama worries Chinese may stir fry cheerleader President... The next President will have enough on his plate without an embarassing Bush incident at the summer Olympics. July 13. African-Chinese BBQ and Music Festival

Doctors Okay Dream Ticket McCain strategy depends on Wyoming and warmonger vote... Cheney was said to be pleased to be alive but could not be located for comment. July 12. McCain Mountain VIP Lounge

Obama's Nuts Cut Off Jesse Jackson says he's really really really sorry... Obama never received his gift "Nuts" magazine subscription from an anonymous person living in the UK because Jesse Jackson cancelled the subscription online. July 11. NoNewsNetwork UK

Whine Whine Whine McCain's top economic advisor spits up on American whines... Former Texas Senator Phil Gramm insulted America as a "nation of whiners" having a "mental recession". July 10. McCain Mountain Wine Cellar

Airstream One Grounded McCain's demoted campaign chief blames aging trailer fleet... Despite tires only eight years old the McCain campaign is moving unusually slow. July 9. McCain Mountain AZ

Leos Born To Lead Obama leadership seen in stars by earthbound astrologers... With a birthday of Aug. 4 Obama was born under the constellation of Leo the Lion. July 8, 5000 B.C. North America Plains

Allen Endorses McCain Former Virginia Senator surprised by McCain visit... George Allen was relaxing at his vacation villa on the Caribbean island. July 5. McCaCaw Islands Airport

Live From Afghanistan! McCain to address Rebublican convention by satellite phone... McCain hopes to be standing over the corpse of Osama Bin Laden while giving his speech. July 6. Kabul Cave TV

Bush Moves Closer To War Oval Office relocated to Dubai tower over holiday weekend... Bush wants a luxury suite view of the action. July 6. Halliburton White House Oval Office Tower in Dubai

Barr Blasts Bush Bullshit Bush lies defiled meaning of the words freedom and liberty... We now use the word "freedom" as an excuse to invade sovereign nations and protection of "liberty" is now an excuse to take it from us. July 4. American Airport Gates of Hell Terminal

This weekend, millions of Americans will celebrate our Independence Day. They will gather in parks and on front lawns, fire up their grills and enjoy an evening of fireworks, family and friendship. Children will wave sparklers in the air, tracing figure eights, while fathers will light seemingly endless fuses of fountains and firecrackers. Most revel on the Fourth of July as a matter of tradition – and it is a good one. I have celebrated this day throughout my life, even when I lived in nations that did not cherish freedom. When I reflect on our Independence Day traditions, I am deeply grateful that Americans continue to celebrate this historic day, but I am also saddened by our combined failure to stop the continued encroachment upon our freedom. Each July 4th, I look back at our year and can literally count the ways in which the path set forth by our forefathers has been distorted and, many times, betrayed. We live in a nation bursting with people who love liberty but governed by men who lust for power. For over 100 years, those designing men have been enabled by a political system that favors and protects the powerful. Republicans and Democrats have maintained and significantly increased their hold on the reigns of our government regardless of the damage that has been done to the men, women and children who work, love, live and die in our great nation. Today’s America does not resemble the intent clearly laid out within that document that was signed by patriots 232 years ago. They put more than ink to paper when they signed the Declaration of Independence; they placed their lives, families, prosperity and honor on the line for liberty. Our founders knew that we are endowed by our creator with certain unalienable rights. They held no tolerance for the thought that we are granted rights by government. Our rights, our decisions, our very lives are ours. It is through individual responsibility by which we prosper or fail – not by state decree or legislation. When Jefferson added the word “among” into the phrase, “among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness,” he was defiantly stating that our rights are self-defined, short of depriving another of their life or liberty. Since the day that the Declaration of Independence was signed, we appear to have lost the meaning and intent of the words: independence, freedom and liberty. Instead, those words have been echoed with abuse on campaign trails and government buildings by politicians who use them as Orwellian tools to mean just the opposite. We now use “freedom” as an excuse to invade sovereign nations. The protection of “liberty” is now an excuse to take it from us. But today, during this election year, we have the opportunity to change the course of events. We have a chance to send a message to Washington that will rock its foundation. Together, we can make the word LIBERTY ring true with deafening accord. My candidacy for President of the United States is not one of vanity or shallowness. I, probably just like you, have had my eyes forced open by a government that wants to take all that it can from me and my family. I am running for president to stand firm and demand a return of my liberty, my privacy, my labor and the peaceful heritage of my nation. I ask you to stand with me. Together we face the two-party behemoth that will do all that it can to silence us. That’s why I need your help today and in the future. I respectfully ask that you support my candidacy by making a donation today. Given the state of our economy, I know that times are tough. They are tough for all of us and that’s why we so desperately need real change in our nation. If you can, please donate today, as your contribution is urgently needed to move our campaign forward. As important, over this coming weekend as you are spending times with friends and loved ones, take a minute and attempt to educate them as to the true meaning of liberty and how it has been lost in our nation and ask them to stand with us. Respectfully, Bob Barr

Bush Prepares For China President will attend opening ceremonies in Beijing... His daily regimen includes jogging, squat pilantes and destroying America's image abroad. July 3. Chinatown Restroom

Senor McCain Flies South McCain visits Halls Of Montezuma in Latin American tour... Senator says his next trip is to the shores of Tripoli. July 2. McCainista Miltary Airport

McCain RIP Platform DOA McCain has at some point been on all sides of every issue... McCain sees nuclear power, offshore oil drilling and disco dancing in the future. June 29. McCain Mountain Mausoleum OTB

Amity Before Unity Secret sea cruise meeting brings hope to seaside tourist town... The poor folks in Amity need hope because their beach was foreclosed by predators. June 28. Coast Guard Cutter SS Unity

Hannity Goes Undercover O'Seana digs deep to find unfounded rumors for FOX news... Hannity later said leaving the studio was one of the toughest things he's ever done. June 26. Miami Imam Convention '08

Macs Choice For 69 years McCain's yellow stained teeth match his favorite condiment... History minded mathematicians have been working to determine how many mustard dogs McCain has eaten. June 25. McCain Mountain Food Court and OTB

White House Beer Garden Cindy intends to run her beer company from the White House... Cindy makes a $300,000 salary running the 3rd largest beer distributorship in America. June 23. White House Beer Garden

Nader Talking Spanglish Arab-American speaking bad Spanish wants wasted votes... Perennial candidate Ralph Nader is hoping to fuck things up un mas tiempo. June 22. Naderz Carneceria OTB

Obama Es Muy Caballero Obama reaches out to Latinos in New Mexico and Nevada... Obama intends to do everything possible to win and Mexican-Americans are crucial. June 20. Obama Carneceria OTB

Obama Says No Fed Funds Obama continues to raise record crops of small donations... With no limit on funds Obama will be better able to counter negative ads and smears. June 19. Obama Farms Greenhouse

First Lady Of Soap Opera Cindy McCain favored for important People's Choice award... Meanwhile Michele Obama has been portrayed as the villian and booed by right wing FOX television critics. June 18. Lifetime Family Circle MSNBC Theatre OTB

Outsource Offshore Billing McCain plan outsources billing for increased offshore drilling... By eliminating the jobs of all U.S. clerical workers McCain reasons the cost of gas might decrease fifteen cents. June 17. McChevron Oil Floating Offshore Bookeeping Depot

McCain Differs With Bush McCain's global warming policy will outlaw excessive heat... Senator says he's acclimated to Arizona heat but it's getting too hot lately. June 16. McCain Mountain Thermometer OTB

Bob Barr Rents Town Hall Raises McCain's offer to twice daily & weekend dinner shows... Libertarian Bob Barr has yet to hear any reply from the McCain campaign. June 14. McCain Mountain Town Hall OTB

McCain Giant Pander Bear McCain panders to disappointed white Clinton supporters... Not being in agreement with Clinton on a single important issue was not mentioned. June 13. McCain Mountain Zoo

Cindy Proud Of America Millionaire beer heiress also proud to sell America's #1 beer... Cindy McCain can't understand how anyone could ever criticize America. June 12. McCain Mountain Flag Room

Obama Climbing In Polls National polls show Obama opening up a lead on McCain... McCain was in Pennsylvania trying to convince Hillary supporters that he's the white candidate for the job. June 11. Pennsylvania Disgruntled White Womens Club

Obama Scores On Economy McCain has no defense for Republican era economic failures... Both downtown and in the paint everything Obama threw up was dropping. June 8. Game One Best of 39 Series

Springtime for Submarines The Producers plan $20 billion anti-terror nuclear submarines... General Electric Corp. produces nuclear attack submarines in Connecticut. Both men agree on the need to produce a collossal production to exploit a U.S. military budget bigger than all the other countries in the world combined. June 6. Lieberman/Connecticut Submarine Works Subsea Smelter and Eel Farm"Satan's favorite delicacy!"

MLK Dream Within Reach Barack Obama is living the dream of Dr. Martin Luther King... Just like Jackie Robinson 56 years ago there forever will only be one man who was first to break the color barrier. June 4. U.S. National Field Of Dreams Skybox

Obama Wins Enchilada Hillary and Bill not ready to make nice with Obama just yet... Senator Obama is the first minority entry to become a nominee for President.Obama Shop June 3. Metrodome Raceway

Hillary Wins South Dakota Clinton finishes the long campaign with an upset victory... After 17 months the closest Democratic primary race in history has ended. June 3. South Dakota Derby Winners Circle

...If You Can't Take A Joke Zany Dick Cheney's official paid apologist offers apologies... Insult comic has a full set of comedy material including West Virginia inbreeding jokes. June 2. Veterans Cemetery WV

Get Fit! Retirement Over McCain plan solves Social Security deficit problem overnight... Under the McCain plan anyone younger than Senator McCain has to go back to work. June 2. McCain Mountain Auditorium

Hillary Wins Puerto Rico "La Vida Loca" of Hillary's historic campaign is almost over... Ricky Martin provided the music and promised to never support another Republican. June 1. San Clinton Beach Resort

Bush Suffers Nightmare In President's bad dream Laura refuses to go back to ranch... President Bush drank a glass of warm milk and drifted back to sleeping peacefully. June 2. Bush Digital Mind Channel

Wolf Roused By Pack Wolf Blitzer was roused today by a pack of hungry reporters... Reporters said they woke Wolf because the breakfast buffet was open. June 1. Washington D.C. Turner Hotel 6

McCain Calls Obama Naive Bush campaigns for McCain cash and unimpeached legacy... Bush has been collecting McCain campaign contributions from his own mega donors. May 31. Rio Grande Caverns TX

Satan Okays 4 More Years Pledges $666 million to Republican nominee after Bush plea... President Bush was hailed as an outstanding contributor to the cause of world confligration. May 29. Hell Awards Roast

McCain Meets Bush Donor Bush helps McCain raise millions at secretive fundraiser... McCain has suffered from poor fundraising up until tonight's closed to press and cameras event. May 28. El Paso Texas

Libertarians Field Entry Bob Barr receives Libertarian Party presidential nomination... Barr says with federal spending and spying Republicans abandoned conservative principles. May 27. Liberty Raceway

Peace Process Begins Nobel Peace Prize winner to help negotiate end of conflict... Former President Jimmy Carter says he's certain everything can be resolved and Democratic party unity achieved. May 26. Carter Center Dispute Resoultion Arena and OTB

Richest Man Backs Obama World's second richest man wants recount of boats in Florida... Warren Buffett, the world's richest man, has endorsed Barack Obama for President. May 25. Obama of Omaha Mutual Fund

The Queen Of Beers Cindy McCain is 3rd largest Budweiser distributor in America... Tax returns show Cindy as owner still draws a salary of $296,000 per year. As First Lady Cindy could help over six million beer drinkers jailed while enjoying her products. May 24. McCain Mountain Beverage Center

Original $6 Million Man Likes to vaporize mosquitos with enhanced laser vision... The Senator received a clean bill of health today. Doctors said his body had accepted hundreds of advanced nanomachine and cryptochip implants. May 24. Pentagon Top Secret Medical Clinic and Day Spa

Dobbs Belly Never Fuller After years of Bush administration failures Dobbs hits 300 lbs... Lou Dobbs says he's had a bellyful of the blather government officials are feeding us. May 23. CNN 24 Hour Cafeteria OTB

Heel Lieberhound Senator Joe wants YouTube to censor anti-American videos... Lieberman says current safeguards didn't pass his independent sniff tests. May 22. Senate Kennels and Videos Committee

Obama Nears Finish Line Obama wins big in Oregon and Clinton wins big in Kentucky... Obama now has more than half of the available pledged delegates nationwide... May 21. Portland Downs Winners Circle

Bush Burning To Bomb Iran The "War President" has only 243 days left to start a new war... A aide on Bush's recent trip to Israel leaked that Bush is in favor of taking immediate military action against Iran. May 21. Air Force One Bathroom Message Board

Old Man O' War Returns McCain rides 2004 winner and oldest horse in political history... George Bush the self-titled "War President" rode the same old political warhorse to victory last in 2004. The old gray horse is slow but always finishes well in fear mongering times. May 20. McCain Armory Barn

McCain Mulls VP Choice 71 year old McCain wants a VP with comparable experience... Vice Presidential candidates have been arriving daily at McCain headquarters to be interviewed for the job. May 19. McCain Campaign National Headquarters Sun City AZ

Click here for 273 prior photo articles

Monarchos - 2001 Kentucky Derby Winner

SUPER BRIGHT HID LOOK HALOGEN HEADLIGHT BULBS FOR CARS, TRUCKS AND SUVS - HEADLIGHT BULBS FOR STREET OR SHOW

Why Your Vote for President Matters

Osama Bin Laden Interactive Executions

!!! SAFETY ISSUE !!! ATTENTION: UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF TRANSPORTATION....DANGEROUS AND UNSAFE DEFECTIVE AFTERMARKET L.E.D. TAILLIGHTS (OVER 40% DEFECTIVE WITHIN 3 MONTHS) URGENTLY NEED TO BE RECALLED BY MANUFACTURER AND REMOVED FROM U.S. HIGHWAYS. L.E.D. aftermarket taillights manufacturer sued for defective L.E.D. taillights and illegal conduct. A lawsuit was filed in Los Angeles Superior Court on Sept. 4, 2008 (case no. BC394618) alleging defective aftermarket L.E.D. tail lamps and illegal conduct. The lawsuit alleges that over 40% of the aftermarket L.E.D. tail lamps shipped to online retail customers were defective in the box or within 3 months of installation. The allegations of defective aftermarket L.E.D. tail lamps are based on a conclusive customer satisfaction survey in which online retail customers reported over 40% of the L.E.D. tail lamps they received were DEFECTIVE in the box or within 3 months of installation. Highway Patrol has ticketed drivers of vehicles with L.E.D. tail lamps for defective and non-compliant taillights. Some of the taillights cannot been seen at certain distances and angles in the daytime.