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SPAWN OF SHARKTOPUS Ted Cruz and family have just settled into a family vacation and are creating sand sculptures on popular Galveston Island off the Texas coast when a swarm of baby sharktopi overrun the beach and eat nearly everyone except Ted and Heidi Cruz. Luckily Ted survives because he is buried in his sand sculpture and Heidi because the film needs her indispensable reaction shots to the bloody Sharktopi feeding frenzy. Cruz capitalizes politically on the incident by raising funds for his Presidential ambitions but becomes drunk on bravado by recklessly taking up water skiing through the warm waters near a nuclear power plant where the Sharktopi are known to feed on the offspring of Crocosaurus.
SPAWN OF SHARKTOPUS
Daily Racing Rag Special Report TED CRUZ EXCLUSIVE! If everybody else had these stories they wouldn't be exclusive.
THEY CALL HIM FANGDANGO Vampires everywhere have been distraught with their favorite series TRUE BLOOD ending soon but relief in the form of fresh blood has come from producers who refuse to let the compelling political side of the story die a true death. The scene will shift from Louisiana to a location near Dallas after Texas passed new tax incentives to bring bloodsuckers and their new movie productions to Texas. The cast will be all new but Ted Cruz has a contract that requires his character to be in every scene or basically the sole undisputed star of the new show so nobody's gonna take the star off his shiny shine. And just like his character that's why they call him Fangdango.
THEY CALL HIM FANGDANGO
ADVENTURES OF TURBO CRUZ is a new show to debut on the new FOX BROWN CHANNEL for Latinos. Rupert Murdoch knows Latinos are more interested in chihuahua dog stories than anything on earth and that Latinos also think Cuban-Canadian-American Ted Cruz is the most important Latino in America. Bingo! It didn't take long for the new FOX BROWN executives in their first decision to order up a season full of episodes filmed in Mexico and dubbed in English with a Spanglish accent. Taco Cartel immediately signed on as a signature sponsor and their ads will appear in all promotions and product placements will become one of the running gags on this muy loco and muy funny new comedy show that features a spunky talking two-legged chihuahua who gets around with toy wheels from a Fisher-Price helicopter.
ADVENTURES OF TURBO CRUZ
WELCOME TO CANUBA After a Supreme Court decision Ted Cruz learns he is ineligible to run for President of the United States. In a violent scene of disgust and anger he renounces his U.S. citizenship and buys an entire island and carnauba palm plantation southwest of the Bahamas and declares it a sovereign nation called Canuba. Cruz leaves America forever and renames himself Generalissimo El Rey Canuba. After building a row of luxury condominiums Canuba deceives dozens of Canadian and Cuban beauty pageant contestants to come to the island. Using his charismatic personality he soon has a devoted cult of followers who stay with Canuba year round. As time passes his Epiphany embrace of Brazilian wax turns into a ritual his most intimate followers all participate in eagerly. This movie's natural and female scenery is so luxurious and sensuous in every shot that even with the delusional Canuba's demented discourse he is delightful as a man who has found his own paradise on earth.
WELCOME TO CANUBA
FRIED GREEN CHILES - the story of Rafael Cruz de Cuba is a new mini-series movie based on the life and lies of the father of Canadian citizen and Texas Senator Ted Cruz. In the premiere episode "Bat Chit Crazy" Rafael works for visiting band leader Desi Arnaz and gets groped by Lucy while hauling bags to her cabana. From that day on a young Rafael vows to impregnate as many American redheads as possible until the civil war begins and he switches to murdering fellow Cubans for Fidel Castro in the name of Communism. New music from Pit Bull and Yasiel Puig.
FRIED GREEN CHILES - the story of Rafael Cruz de Cuba
CHEERS 2 - CHEERING FOR OBAMACARE TO FAIL is a new drama series set to air on the FOX WHITE CHANNEL. After multiple crushing life events Ted played by Ted Cruz gets the old high school pep squad back together and creates some new cheers rooting for the collapse of America's healthcare system and for the painful death of everyone who ever wronged him in his unhappy life. Ruthie has also become similarly bitter and vindictive and after a third divorce bankrolls the project and buys snappy new uniforms and pom poms for the squad all with the intention of enlisting Ted for a secret and even more sinister plan.
CHEERS 2 - CHEERING FOR OBAMACARE TO FAIL
NRA's LEAD CHEF visits Iowa this week as Senator Ted Cruz and Iowa Representative Steve King kill some caged pheasant with shotguns and then wait while Shoot N' Fry fry cooks deep fry their bagged birds. Meanwhile their hungry tea party entourage applauds every shotgun blast as well as round after round of Ted Cruz buckshot insults at other Republicans, non-hunting liberals and of course Obamacare. Cruz is on a celebration tour claiming victory after instigating the federal government shutdown that wasted billions of dollars and accomplished nothing.
NRA's LEAD CHEF features Iowa's Shoot N' Fry Fried Pheasant
TEA PARTY HOMECOMING starring Ted Cruz and Sarah Palin has received rave reviews but possibly for the wrong reasons. This is no political movie but rather an complicated emotional gut-twister and pitches as "Carrie Meets Fatal Attraction". Sarah Palin's body double is worth the price of admission and negates any subconscious objections to the eerie way Palin delivers her unique-as-a-unicorn dialog.
TEA PARTY HOMECOMING starring Ted Cruz and Sarah PalinTEA PARTY HOMECOMING starring Ted Cruz and Sarah Palin
ALL IS LOST starring Ted Cruz is now playing primarily on MSM-TV but has been made available to all non neo-facist television networks around the country. A totally false narrative promoted by an intimidating Ted Cruz led his cult followers to expectations far beyond reason or even sanity and so it felt like the sky had fallen when reality dashed all hopes of victory and nearly dented the Texas Senator's monumental self love.
TED CRUZ - ALL IS LOST now playing
MOBY JAWS - A BIG FISH STORY is the movie about some oversize claims that two fishermen made up and then told far and wide from port to port and sea to sea until fear overtook many fearful fishermen and their frightened families but in fact the stories where just big fish stories and calm eventually reclaimed the country.
MOBY JAWS - A BIG FISH STORYMOBY JAWS - A BIG FISH STORY
TED CRUZ has made quite a mess in Washington D.C with his debut season of THE WRECKING BALL. The FOX WHITE CHANNEL mini-series highlights the destruction Cruz has done with his heavy metal onslaught. Tea Party types have been screaming for Cruz to shut the government down but the least popular Senator in the Capitol has decided to go one step farther and demolish the historic buildings as well.
TED CRUZ - WRECKING BALL is a new music album and TV mini-series on FOX WHITE CHANNEL
CRUZ MIZZLE and THE DEFUNDERS debut their new hip hop album THE FILIBUZZTER on the FOX WHITE MUSIC CHANNEL this week. Cruz lays down some impressive funky white face palm style hip hop on the smash hit and number one smashnado hate radio single "Baby Gonna Repeal Obamacare All Night Long".
CRUZ MIZZLE and THE DEFUNDERS debut hip hop album on the FOX WHITE MUSIC CHANNELCRUZ MIZZLE and THE DEFUNDERS debut hip hop album on the FOX WHITE MUSIC CHANNEL
THE SOUNDS OF ANARCHY is and brutal motorcycle musical breakdown of the Ted Cruz's personal political anarchy minded gang of Defunder Demons. Armed with a throbbing pulsating mind numbing tidal wave of gasoline powered noise Cruz assaults all senses with a bone chilling recitation of seditious and anarchist tirades proselytizing a combination of vigilantism and a defiance of authority bordering on outright treason. Weeknights at 9:00 only on the FOX WHITE CHANNEL.
THE SOUNDS OF ANARCHY debuts soon on the the FOX WHITE CHANNEL
THE DEFUNDERS - MY WAY OR THE DRY WAY debuts this fall on the FOX WHITE CHANNEL. Ted Cruz, Mike Lee and Mario Rubio have drained the pool of reasonable negotiations with an attempt to defund Obamacare and assume Presidential veto powers never before given House Representatives and clearly unconstitutional. It's been called a suicide mission and could potentially create such negative backlash with the American public that the Republicans could actually lose a gerrymandered House in a non-presidential election. Senators Cruz, Rubio and Lee have determined they personally have nothing to lose and can only gain name recognition as they aren't up for re-election next year if the American economy suffers badly from their anti-American sedition and belligerence.
THE DEFUNDERS - MY WAY OR THE DRY WAY debuts soon on the the FOX WHITE CHANNEL
SOUR NIXON - THE TED CRUZ STORY debuts this fall. Ted Cruz was crushed when he received just one vote in his first attempt for student government office in college. He began emulating his idol Richard Nixon and compiling an enemies list and insisted his revenge would be to win public office one day. Today his enemies list is computerized with daily ranking updates based on current conservative political trends.
SOUR NIXON - THE TED CRUZ STORY debuts soon on the the FOX WHITE CHANNEL
A` PLUS TARD (see you later) JESUS MURPHY! THIS HOSER'S HAD THE BISQUIT is a Canadian-made film about an ungrateful Canuck born bastard of a bombastic Cuban bully and a light skinned Cuban mother with fraudulent U.S. citizenship papers. The Canadian government provided free health care and the undocumented couple named the baby Ice Cuban. Exploiting his fraudulent dual citizenship Ice Cuban infiltrates government and amasses power until his secret is exposed and he renounces his Canadian citizenship in order to stifle a demand for unpaid taxes. The RCMP then takes ballin' action on their own.
A PLUS TARD! (see you later) is a Canadian film about a bad guy named Ice Cuban
In a death spiral of unintended consequences a trio of inexperienced federal legislators engineer a government shutdown that leads to a cacophony of militant militia homegrown terrorist attacks and a paralyzed government response. After each suffers casualties in their own families the trio decides that they must help save the same government they helped to destroy.
AMERICAN SHUTDOWN! Insurgents pull off a government shutdown in this high wire action movie.AMERICAN SHUTDOWN! Insurgents pull off a government shutdown in this high wire action movie.
Texans were surprised to wake up and find their land of freedom had been turned into a laboratory breeding ground of repressive government intrusion into citizen's personal lives. The in depth story of how the Texas Taliban accumulated power, suppressed opposition and rose to political dominance over an inattentive Texas electorate. Was Obama behind a successful conspiracy to make Texans look foolish?
DUH DYNASTY explores the true story of the Texas Taliban
Cruz namesake was notorious.
Cruz Namesake Was Sadistic Killer! Executed by firing squad in 1833. The Canadian born Cuban Senator from Texas has an evil soul in the family tree. The deep dark secret was recently rediscovered by a researcher at the Texas information website TexiPedia.org. July 7, 2013. Texipedia.org
Ruffled Feathers Leads To Hilarious New Series! McCain and Cruz will make you laugh! It's not like they ruin America in the new series as producers want to keep it funny and besides that's their regular day job. May 24, 2013. PreCog TV Preview
Wackobird coming to TV this fall.
Harry Reid Calls Out Schoolyard Bully! Ted Cruz tries to takeover Senate locker room. The very junior Senator from Texas has been in town only a few months but has pissed off everybody with his in-your-face insults, taunting, mocking and aggressive bullying behavior like banging heads into lockers. A schoolyard rumble may turn into a full scale prison yard riot and backstabbing if this foreign-born Texas carpetbagger isn't sent to detention soon. May 11, 2013. Western Daily News
Reid complains about schoolyard bully.
Ted Cruz Ignites Backlash! His finger pointing style and Texas-size ego have created many enemies. However, bullying arrogant aaaholes often find bullseye targets of revenge painted on their backs especially in Washington D.C.. April 23, 2013. Washington NewsFux.com
Ted Cruz kinky stinky finger habit.Newsfux on Ted Cruz.
Devil In Disguise Gets Feinstein All Shook Up. Cruz wants gun laws Returned To Sender! Texas Senator Elvis "Ted" Cruz said Americans have a Burning Love for their guns and Suspicious Minds about new gun laws from a Hard Headed Woman and called her attempt Too Much. Senator Feinstein said while it may not be Now Or Never she said it was time for a Little Less Conversation and a lot more action adding I Feel So Bad and the victims are Always On My Mind. March 23, 2013. Graceland News
Devil in disguise gets Feinstein all shook up.
Revisit the classic 2012 Presidential Derby... Obama vs. Romney
Revisit the classic 2012 Presidential Derby 2012horserace.com Revisit the classic 2012 Presidential Derby
Obama led wire to wire and was still moving like a winner down the stretch! November 6, 2012
Vote TODAY for President Of The United States Of America!
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