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Daily Racing Rag Special Report KOCH BROTHERS EXCLUSIVE! If everybody else had these stories they wouldn't be exclusive.
AMERICAN PHARAOHS In yet another Game Of Thrones spin-off movie the action starts many moons after the dragon queen fled the arena with a modernized version of the murder bowl. Political candidates vie one-on-one for the approval of both the audience and the Koch brothers who were and still remain the power behind the Harpy.
KOCH WALKERS - THE LONG WINTER IS COMING Still more Game Of Throne spin-off series which makes dozens now. KOCH WALKERS is especially gruesome as the Koch army of dead attorneys slaughter union organizers without mercy.
BACH TALK So far not a single reviewer has been able to sit through the entire 90 minutes of David Koch rambling on endlessly about almost everything while Bach music plays in the background. This film has nothing to do with Bach but when you are a billionaire as wealthy as a Koch brother, Texas public television is at your service and grateful for your generous contribution.
THE ARISTOKOCHS The Koch brothers return to the big screen starring as THE ARISTOKOCHS - Lords of the American Plutocracy and demonstrate their power over not only the 99% but 99.99% of the 1%. Minions who elsewhere think of themselves as pillars of power are forced to bow to their Koch lords as a sign of devotion and respect. This movie is basically a day in their life and the action centers around plans for a $110 million dollar birthday party featuring a ballet troupe and 80 champagne fountains.
I'M YOUR DADDY, DUMMY This animated/live action movie really is politics for dummies under a different name as Charles Koch played by himself is incredulous when John Boehner starts complaining that he can't be told what to do. Charles explains with a pine log for brains Boehner is incapable of grasping too much at once but he better behave or he'll go face first into the wood chipper where Eric Cantor disappeared. Boehner ultimately takes to his tasks with joy despite a lack of feeling in his wooden toes.
THE KOCHROACHES The Koch brothers owned a Kansas City exterminator business for years but after one bug filled day they decided to branch out into the murder for hire business. This dark comedy is possibly one step over the line of decency but these happy hit men seem to have a hell of a good time exterminating cheating husbands, thieving business partners or back-stabbing politicians and with producers who have all the money they'll ever need to buy funny scripts this comedy has legs.
REPUBLICAN ROCKSTAR This new show involves nationally well known Republicans competing for the title of Republican Rockstar and a two million dollar campaign slush fund disguised as a tax exempt charitable non profit. The question the show asks is America knows they can talk but can they rock? Sadly after watching previews the answer may be hell no and a better question is what the hell were the producers thinking? So we asked and the producers explained that singing contests and talent shows have become a dime a dozen and nobody wants to see another nobody suck and fail miserably. What people want to see are rich and famous people with gigantic egos suck and fail miserably. That sounds like a terrific idea on paper but it hurts the ears to listen to and we hate to be a buzz kill of our own idea but this show is going nowhere.
MONUMENTS MEN is the biggest budget film ever produced. The stars each pocketed $100-150 million dollars before production wrapped. Absolutely no expense was spared as enormous granite monuments were erected on formerly public land all across red state America. The script is mostly an all out assault of well worn Republican talking points attempting to glorify as virtuous a litany of unpopular political positions. But neither that or the cast of 80+ year-olds very stiff acting is too much a bother to enjoy the wondrous beauty of former public lands before they were transformed into Republicans only travel destinations with members only RV services.
BILLION DOLLAR ARM is Kochpocalypse Productions latest and timely feature film. Koch executives realized that baseball movies may promote million dollar arms but that is far less than pocket money for Kochs. And the movie star they wanted to play Lady Liberty, Penelope Cruz, is married to another billionaire so if the Kochs wanted to make a movie where their characters get to repeatedly grope Penelope Cruz in a sheer gown (31 takes) it would have to be a billion dollar arm. The movie may not be worth the price of admission but those Kochs certainly got their money's worth from Lady Liberty. They always do. That's why they have a fortune of over $200 billion.
KOCHULUS is a supernatural thriller about a killer environmental disaster and mass murder of wildlife in the Poochiekootch State Forest after a toxic fracking fluid flooded into Lake Poochiekootch and the Poochiekooch River. The Kochs leave the spill untouched and the lake polluted in an all out effort to prove the spill was caused by supernatural phenomenon coming from strange lights reflecting off the mirror like surface of Lake Poochiekooch.
WHOA is a sure to be a blockbuster disaster movie to end all disaster movies. Charles and David Koch star as greedy industrialist mega-billionaires who spend over $200 million promoting climate change denial lies and are smug and happy as their propaganda works to neutralize public opinion despite unanimous scientific opinion. When massive flooding hits their private island resort they get swept away just as they are enjoying their favorite past time of counting huge piles of money. Their old college days on the Ivy League water polo squad pay off as they are able to stay afloat for hours but wonder if life is worth living with a world destroyed and their $150 billion dollar fortune now worthless and lost forever. Also starring Russell Crowe, Kurt Russell, Russell Brand, Bradley Cooper and Sophia Vergara.
KOCHTOPUSSY is a action filled political spy drama that delves deep into the bizarre world of worldwide mega billionaires and their unimaginable lifestyle of luxury and opulence. The biggest surprise is that the Koch Brothers are not nearly the biggest players in the world game which explains their insatiable quest for more power and wealth. Their golden penis envy leads to exotic locales where mega billionaires own all industry, politicians, government, churches, schools and every square inch of land as far as one can see. Determined to match these foreigners wealth the game is on. Also starring Paul Ryan, Meg Ryan, Ryan Gosling, Ryan Seacrest, Marcia Blackburn, Ann Coulter, Suzana Martinez, Sarah Palin, Lou Dobbs and a kochaphony of cameos and non-union extras.
DETERGENT is another new film from the very busy Koch Brothers. Not just content to be billionaire industrialists, outspoken public figures and titans in the world of political dark money the Kochs have added the movie business to their targeted takeover list. In this weird but lighthearted not-so-serious movie the sons of the John Birch Society's founder see money to be made and cynically wager one dollar that if they can convince the public of their support for non-union transgender liberal arts and entertainment that sales of their many consumer products will skyrocket among gays and lesbians. Rated R for tough stains.
KING KOCH - THE 800 POUND GORILLA IN THE REPUBLICAN PARTY is a dramatic film about the Koch Brothers rise to the top of the Republican food chain. Not since the Iraq war when U.S. Air Force cargo planes flew pallets stacked high with shrink-wrapped one hundred dollar bills to Iraq has more cash been distributed so rapidly to so many greedy politicians. With the Koch Brothers recent spending spree to purchase influence over the majority of Republican officeholders in America only Rupert Murdoch wields more power in GOP politics. In one scene New Mexico Republican Governor Susana Martinez is completely overcome with gratitude when in exchange for her solemn promise to destroy all labor unions in New Mexico her campaign is promised more cash than twenty Albuquerque meth dealers can make in a year.
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