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Daily Racing Rag Special Report MARCO RUBIO EXCLUSIVE! If everybody else had these stories they wouldn't be exclusive.
THE DEAD POOL Just a few months ago the Florida sunshine seemed to have his name on it because his prospects were so bright but as the disappointments came one after another so did the crocodiles. Daily they seemed to gather in increasing numbers as if they could smell blood in the water weeks before his day of reckoning arrived.
ANCHOR BABY Baby Marco's parents risked their lives to flee Cuba and find minimum wage service industry jobs in Miami. They didn't need legal papers but only had to reach the beach in South Florida and once anchor baby Marco was born the parents decided to become U.S. citizens and train their son for a life of serving wealthy people.
CSI - ELECTION CAMPAIGN FRAUD SQUAD In a sequel to ANCHOR BABY the action picks up with now grown baby Marco serving the whims of the wealthiest citizens of Florida and then he goes to Washington D.C. where to the perverse delight of his benefactors he champions the cause of denying citizenship to future anchor babies.
MARCO ROBO - ROBOT DANCER At his first high school dance Marco is awkward and dances so stiffly that he is teased and called a Frakenstein robot but from the moment he sees Michael Jackson do the robot dance an inspired Marco commits himself to becoming the best robot dancer South Miami High School has ever seen.
SWEET CAROLINE Nikki Haley and Marco Rubio star in this new telenovela style series. As teenagers in the 1980's they first meet on a summer vacation at the Carolina shore where their very ethnic families vacation annually. Despite being surrounded by an ocean of cultural differences when they are together they feel 100% American.
MARCO ROBO - ROBOT DANCER At his first high school dance Marco is awkward and dances so stiffly that he is teased and called a Frakenstein robot but from the moment he sees Michael Jackson do the robot dance an inspired Marco commits himself to becoming the best robot dancer South Miami High School has ever seen.
THE MATANZAS CANDIDATE In this well crafted political thriller Marco Rubio convincingly plays Major Marco the brainwashed son of a Cuban family who is left behind when they flee to America. Eva Mendes plays the Queen of Diamonds and trigger mechanism causing Marco to become an unwitting assassin for an expatriate conspiracy.
CROSSING THE RUBIOCON A rising political star played robot-like by Mario Rubio cancels his easy re-election bid and lays his whole future on the line as he sets out on a risky adventure in his new Jeep to go far beyond his comfort zone to a place where there is no coming back only to immediately make a wrong turn and get lost.
THE RAT PACK IS BACK In it's 40th year this cabaret style production changes only because the cast of celebrity impersonators keeps changing. Remaining are an endless stream of tasteless racist jokes and all women are dumb broads. This nostalgia is a nightmare and this supposedly classy era now looks more assy than classy.
BRONANZA In the best news this season a reincarnation of the classic series BRONANZA is in production. Ben Cartwright is played by 69 year-old Donald Trump as he manages the Ponderosa terrifically for which he gets lots of credit in the financial press as well as raising his three grown sons from three different women (all deceased).
FOREIGN POLICY TELEVISION After 45 years of foreign policy advice to the elite and government the original editorial board is now only two men and they're both over 85 years old. In a candid series of interviews they admit they're afraid to die because they've seen no sign of intelligence from any GOP foreign policymaker this century.
FOREIGN POLICY TELEVISION - discussion and interviews
GOP SURVIVOR ISLAND 2016 Survivor Island for 2016 Republican candidates is the luxurious Lighthouse Bay Resort where "survival" conditions normally go for $2400 per night. Still after several days on the island paradise all the men begin to bond while Carly Fiorina somehow becomes less appealing with every bitter diatribe she spews.
LOVE BOAT TO FANTASY CUBA In what sounds like a pleasure cruise on the Love Boat quickly deteriorates into a low budget gripe session of supposed 80 year old Cuban born Americans complaining about something from 60 years ago interspersed with nostril hair close-ups and concerned reaction shots by Cruz, Carson and Rubio.
UN MARCO DE MADERA (a wooden frame) An underemployed theater arts graduate get his medical marijuana card and starts to visit the county art museum in costume when things turn hallucinatory. Drawn deep into 1800's oil paintings Marco decides to enter politics after lively conversations with important historical figures from the era.
UN MARCO DE MADERA (a wooden frame)
REVISIT THE DOOM / KILL THE BOY Who would ever return to the doom? The curious? The insane? The unknowing? This suspense-filled drama has Jeb Bush returning to the scene of his brother's heinous legacy with his protege Mario Rubio as hostage. They encounter shocking reminders of why no one else wishes to return to the doom.
DEATH MATCH XVI In a nutshell this movie is "Hunger Games" in a swimmimg pool. Contestants compete in water polo games to the death. One talented swimmer is Marco Rubio who becomes so successful at drowning opponents the public gives him the moniker of Marco Polo but now the big elimination tournament has begun and Marco will be tested like never before.
REY RUBIO DE TAMPA An almost unrecognizble Marco Rubio uses his stage name Antonio and stars in this fast paced crime thriller that takes place in Tampa's thriving strip club district. Using his muscle with his local political pals Antonio quickly takes over the gentlemen's club money laundering business and renames himself Rey Rubio "The King of Tampa". His club's specialty is fresh Mexican girls that he can get visas for if they sleep with politicians which is fine with the girls since their status had been illegal. Things get dicey when five girls go missing and the king has to sniff out the dirty rat that is kidnapping his best lap dancers.
WHO IS MORE CUBAN THAN MARK CUBAN? As soon as the President shocked the world by announcing a change in relations with Cuba the battle was on at FOX NEWS for who would criticize Obama about Cuba on air twice every day with righteous sanctimony because having any fraction of Cuban blood entitles one to read a FOX written GOP talking point with absolute authority. Mark Cuban of SHARK TANK was ready to tank this low rated basic cable show but now it's ratings have zoomed with all the talk about Cuba and who is more Cuban than Mark Cuban who may or may not be Cuban.
MARCO RUBIO stars in yet another feature film this time as an unrepentant Florida based FOX NEWS go-to guy for on air verbally trashing any subject a large majority of scientists worldwide agree upon. His character had just signed a seven figure book deal with Rupert Murdoch debunking scientific snobbery on notions like evolution, cigarettes and man made climate change when disaster struck. An ocean surge flooded his office and two thirds of Miami in one weekend and Rush Limbaugh's fortress compound and broadcast facility was swallowed up by a massive sinkhole with Limbaugh and several others missing. Unable to comprehend his culpability Rubio impatiently waits in his office until rescued by the Coast Guard who he then berates for working for a Muslim President.
MARCO RUBIO'S PUDDING IS A VEGETABLE is a new film in which Marco Rubio aims his pitch squarely at future voters currently still too young to vote with a soothing reassurance that storks do indeed deliver babies and Santa Claus is real. Rubio then switches subjects in an animated attempt to reeducate indoctrinated toddlers of liberal parents that scientific theories like evolution and climate change are never true. After little Marco rescues an adorable puppy from getting squirted by the White House front lawn sprinklers the diminutive bundle of baby fuzz from Florida declares that he is ready to be President but can it wait until after his afternoon sleepy time?
In a death spiral of unintended consequences a trio of inexperienced federal legislators engineer a government shutdown that leads to a cacophony of militant militia homegrown terrorist attacks and a paralyzed government response. After each suffers casualties in their own families the trio decides that they must help save the same government they helped to destroy.
AMERICAN SHUTDOWN! Insurgents pull off a government shutdown in this high wire action movie.AMERICAN SHUTDOWN! Insurgents pull off a government shutdown in this high wire action movie.
Outrage over Rolling Stone magazine covers.
Rolling Stoned! Both Republican and conservative outrage over recent magazine covers builds. Angry birds always looking for something to dump on have their tail feathers all aflutter over two recent controversial Rolling Stone magazine cover photos. July 16, 2013. Magazine Management Monthly
Super Mario Rubio.
Super Rubio All In On Immigration! Republican plans to take 100% credit for any success or progress. Grateful happy and clueless Hispanics nationwide will presumably then join the Republican party in time to get Super Marco Rubio the Republican Presidential nomination in 2016. April 28, 2013. DailyBawler.com
TOWNHOLE.COM features conservative opinions that conservatives parrot.
TOWNHOLE.COM Readers Not Liking Rubio Presidential Slippers! "He looks like a Cuban leprechaun!" The conservative base suddenly remembered they're really not impressed by non-white folks that try to impress white folks. After all isn't that why they hate President Obama so much?
April 18, 2013. Townhole.com
Rand Paul and Mario Rubio looking for Latino support.
Rand Paul and Mario Rubio Look For Latino Support! The GOP Latino Outreach Plan reportedly includes a nationwide Taco Bell Tour for Summer 2013. Republican leaders analyzed their 2012 election defeat and came to the conclusion that they've been looking for Latino love in all the wrong places. Rand Paul and Marco Rubio plan to visit more than 40 shopping mall food courts where Taco Bells are located. March 20, 2013. Food Court Press
CPAC Split Leaves GOP a hot mess.
CPAC Split Leaves GOP A Hot Mess! Libertarians and Tea Party conservatives rock and rail against GOP bosses. Paul Rand won the straw poll and Mario Rubio came in second in a generational rejection of mainstream Republicans like Mitt Romney, Karl Rove, Jeb Bush and basically anybody who ever had anything to do with George W. Bush, the party's infamous and unmentioned pariah. This new generation of conservatives is finished with nation building, diplomacy and foreign aid. They don't promote doing anything positive and don't care if the military budget is slashed which is blasphemy to traditional GOP dogma. But first things first and for now their focus is on taking over the leadership of a Republican party that was defeated so soundly in the last election. March 17, 2013. Libertarian Music Monthly
Marco's Wish Might Come True! Marco's Wish Might Come True! Lord Romney may select Bush family protege for VP role! Marco Rubio of Florida is also known as the "Little Brown Bush" because he is entirely the political creation of former Florida Governor Jeb Bush. Marco Rubio for Vice President is the same as putting another Bush on the Presidential ticket and that delights the New World Order crowd of filthy rich billionaires who never tire of getting exactly what they want. Like Pinocchio, Marco Rubio is one small wood-colored boy who wished to his lucky stars for his dream to become a real Bush family member and those wishes may yet come true.
June 2, 2012. Make-A-Wish Monthly
Lil' Brown Bush Lauds Book Of Jeb!
Florida Senate victory by Marco Rubio, Republican disciple of Jeb Bush, signals America may be ready for an unprecedented third reich of Bush family Presidents and the Apocalypse preceding establishment of New World Order.
The destiny of Illuminati bloodlines to rule the world remains on it's predictably straight line fast track with a win by Marco Rubio, the creation and protege of former Florida Governor Jeb Bush. Jeb Bush , a.k.a. "the smart Bush", endorsed Marco Rubio 19 months before yesterday's Senate election victory. After the world collapses into chaos from solar flares, earthquakes, volcanoes, tsunamis and more, the New World Order, as outlined in 1984 by Father George, will emerge from the ashes and Jeb Bush is the leading candidate for Chief World Administrator of the New World Order.
November 3, 2010. Florida GOP Victory Rally
Marco Rubio is a devoted disciple of the book of Jeb.
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