|Romney Blasts President Obama For Not Catching Abu Nazir! Obama blames TiVo! Mitt Romney is now chasing low information voters who are too clueless too make up their own minds and have become FOX news terrorist cells not knowing their minds have been made up for them. These folks are clearly stupid enough to believe anything including any line of bullshit Mitt Romney or FOX news can make up. Romney doesn't care if voters find out after the election that Abu Nazir has been effectively contained in the Showtime television series "Homeland" and has suggested that Abu Nazir was behind the embassy attack in Benghazi. October 31, 2012. MyFOX Terrorizer app|
|Presidents endorse President Obama! Mascots unanimous in contempt for Mitt Romney! Presidential mascot George Washington was most vocal in denouncing Mitt as a traitor and criminal that should be hanged. We fought a revolution to get rid of an elite ruling class that treated human beings like cattle and now here comes Mitt Romney to pervert everything we fought for and everything America is supposed to stand for. And for God's sake all that lying makes me want to kill. Washington said that to put one of America's most dishonest and greediest criminals into the White House amounts to treason and the path to a new American revolution that will be 1000 times bloodier than the original. Oppressed poor people that have lost hope in a corrupt America will rise up like zombies and murder the elite by the thousands. Washington urged all voters to wake the fuck up before they send America over the cliff and into the depths of annihilation. October 30, 2012. National Mascot News|
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| Forward! The coming presidential election offers an easy choice. America as a democracy with a President of the people and for the people... OR ...America as a plutocracy ruled by billionaires who are catered to by Republican Koch-sucking stooges in Congress and a "Rubberstamp Romney" in the White House. We endorse the re-election of President Obama and the ouster of every Republican member of Congress.
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|Mitt's Pals Make $134 Million Off Campaign... So Far! Bain Capital buddies set up political firms to spend political contributions and siphon off huge profits win or lose! Not only will Mitt's closest campaign benefactors reap huge tax windfalls if Mitt wins they are making millions of dollars right now on consulting fees, polling services, video production and a very healthy chunk of Bain style "other expenses". The Bain boys have license to loot Romney campaign funds just like they've done to hundreds of businesses for over 25 years. Mitt's top campaign cronies steer hundreds of millions of dollars in campaign cash to their own firms and the longer the campaign goes on the more money they make. These are the same Romney associates that Romney taught how to set up sham companies in the Cayman Islands and elsewhere for the sole purpose of evading U.S. taxes. Fans of Romney find comfort in the fact that only Romney could figure out how to finance the first presidential campaign to make a hundred million dollar profit for it's investors even if the candidate loses. October 29, 2012. Amazin' Money|
|Eastwood Haunted By Thousands Of Voices! Movie star pushed to the brink of incivility. Ghosts are not dumber than living people but are often much more confused. Many ghosts now believe Clint Eastwood can hear them and he can but they're driving him crazy. He doesn't want to deliver any goddam messages to anybody's goddam loved ones and he wishes the goddam ghosts would leave him the hell alone. October 28, 2012. Living Spaces Stage Blog|
|Wealthy Country Club Cougars Hot For Mitt! He's rich, he's white, he's rich! Wealthy country club cougars are not concerned that Mitt Romney will restrict their reproductive rights because so many of them are past the age of menopause and besides they have fabulous amounts of money to fly anywhere for any medical procedure they choose. More important is keeping tax rates on the income of wealthy country club cougars ridiculously low so wealthy chaffeur driven country club cougars can maintain their regimen of botox injections, spa treatments and cosmetic surgery. October 28, 2012. Holmby Hills Bugle|
|Ann Comes Out In New Magazine Debut! Rupert Murdoch personally edits premiere issue. Even before Mitt Romney's visions of political grandeur became reality the Romney's lived a life of spectacular luxury whenever and wherever they chose. In this slick new glossy magazine and pricy subscription website Rupert Murdoch is able to share a glimpse of the ridiculously rich and incredibly exclusive pleasures and perks that come with immense power and wealth to a ravenous audience of rich wannabees worldwide. Murdoch simply replaces his ancient aged face with prettier plutocrats and like all 1634 publishing entities owned by Murdoch there will be plenty of celebrity boob pics and gossip. Donald Trump reportedly has a huge surprise that will shock America to be revealed in the second issue. October 28, 2012. My Rich Magazine|
|Mitty Wants Tariffs And Cannonballs! Ending inheritance tax on wealthy, restricting rights of workers and women top priorities for 1912. Mr.Romney also said we need more horses, bayonets, ships and telegraph operators but no more teachers or female aviators because women are needed at home and not in the workplace. Romney also endorsed imported Chinese labor where negro prison labor is in short supply and called for prohibiting the use of alcohol, tobacco and carbonated beverages. Mitty promised he would not go to war for Europe but called for production of bigger cannonballs and a ban on Persian rugs. Mitty's new campaign slogan is "It Was Better Before."
October 28, 1912. Daily Extra Gazette
|Future News Extra! Recap The Bully Puppet! Roosevelt used bully pulpit for good, Romney was a bully puppet of billionaires! Like an answer to the purchase order prayers of the Koch Brothers and Grover Norquist, Mitt Romney was a right wing rubber stamp in the complete downsizing and liquidation sale of the American middle class. A homeless mob recently burned the never opened Romney Presidential Library to the ground. October 24, 2026. Time Magazine Future Edition|
|Hello Mitty! Romney morphs again and endorses President's foreign policy! More than an etch-a-sketch Mitt Romney needs a factory full of Korean animators to keep up with his near psychedelic array of flip flops and position shuffles. After years of criticism aimed at President Obama's foreign policy, Mitt Romney might as well have curled up in Obama's lap like a pussycat because at the final presidential debate Romney ended up agreeing with and endorsing almost every single action the President has taken regarding foreign policy. Public polls declared the President the final debate winner by a wide margin. October 22, 2012. Hello Mitty Monthly|
|Romney Boy Fights For Swinging Career! Tagg wants to take a swing at President Obama! As a young boy Tagg Romney was promised a career in music and entertainment but today at age 42 he feels frustrated because he says his career was sidetracked by reverse anti-white discrimination that was created by liberal Democrat social engineering. Tagg who goes by the stage name of Tagg, says if he had been born black or Latino and sang anti-freedom socialist propaganda he'd be a music superstar by now. October 20, 2012. Tough Rich Boys Magazine|
|Binders Of Women! Appropriate new hash tag sticks to Romney Ryan ticket. Mitt Romney said the words himself and now nobody will let them go because they are so representative of what Romney will actually do to set back womens reproductive rights. If Mitt Romney gets elected Tea Party politicians in Washington D.C. will be in charge of women's bodies not women. October 18, 2012. American Bindage Magazine|
|Coal Lover Romney Touts Energy Plan! Burn as much coal as possible until Jesus gets here with the answer for everything. Mitt Romney says don't worry about climate change and pollution because we have enough coal to last until Jesus returns to Missouri and solves all of our problems. Romney insists corporations can make a lot of money burning coal until the skies are black and then selling the electricity to the highest bidders even if local communities die from lung disease. Romney says the great thing about corporations being people is that while they have many challenges they can actually live for hundreds of years and their survival is not threatened by the normal human lifespan or environmental pollution.
October 16, 2012. Corporate Power Magazine
|Romney Says Chinese Cheating! Chinese say "How So?" Chinese factory workers working for an American company making American products for Americans like the family of artist Cui Bo have no idea what Mitt Romney is talking about. Romney, the original 100% owner of Bain Capital is the same American businessman who shipped thousands of good American jobs to China that thousands of Chinese now work hard at. Both parents make kitchen appliances for a Bain controlled American company that used to manufacture products in Ohio, U.S.A. Maybe Romney thinks he should have made hundreds of millions of dollars more for destroying the lives of thousands of American workers.
October 15, 2012. Confuse Us Magazine
|Ryan's Vagina Monologue! Wants government control of all vaginas during child bearing years. The election of Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan will be the beginning of the end in regards to freedom of choice for women. Ryan was emphatic in his opposition to women's right to control their own bodies in the Vice Presidential debate. Vice President Joe Biden strongly defended a woman's right to choice. The contrast could not be more clear. Women's right to control their own bodies is on the ballot. October 11, 2012. Republican Vagina Monologues|
|Romney Celebrates Shameless Debate Victory! Mitt brings motorized etch-a-sketch and lies his ass off while making up pure horseshit. Mitt Romney is a psychopath and pathological liar and apparently people find that loveable because the Romney camp has been raking in extra money and climbing in the polls since Mitt took it to the President in an unexpected debate victory. President Obama seemed dumbfounded by the quantity and depth of Romney's nonstop lies. It was frustrating for Obama because Romney showed up ready for a mud wrestling match and Obama came to teach a junior college class. October 8, 2012. Popular Psychopaths Magazine READ MORE|
|Meet The Real Romney! Mormon Mitt is a mainstream Mormon and you probably aren't. You might want to know why no member of the Romney family has ever joined any branch of the U.S. military and why Mitt fled to France as a young Mormon missionary to avoid serving America in the Vietnam War. Alcohol, coffee and caffeine are not allowed. Diet beverages only. Smoking anything is out of the question. It is mandatory to give at least a tenth of your income to the LDS church every month if your spirit wants to avoid an eternity in spirit prison. If your spirit follows Mormon law through enough lifetimes you can become an actual God in one of the spritual kingdoms or galaxies in the universe as there are many planets similar to earth and Jesus-like Gods visited each of them. In the 1800's planet earth's own special Jesus came to America and told the story to a raging drunk who then became the LDS church founder and took 20 wives and Mitt has been spreading this holy flapdoodle his entire life likely in appreciation of the fact that the Mormon church saved Hello Mitty's pussy ass from death in Vietnam. October 8, 2012. Mitt Magazine|
|Plutocrat Sneers At Johnson Surge! Priebus labels Gary Johnson a non-factor contrary to the facts. Reinhart Priebus almost never says anything truthful as head of the most dishonest political campaign organization in 100 years. Every day Priebus issues RNC statements that are fictitious cockamamie horseshit lies so when Priebus announced his dismissal of Gary Johnson as a non-factor that means just the opposite. Polls show Johnson will be a factor in several western states.
October 7, 2012. Plutocracy Weekly
|Romney Rehearses Zingers! Mitt Romney may use "Obama Yo Mama" tactics in debate. With a Republican Party platform that is indefensible, Romney must divert attention from the official GOP document that 80% of all Americans would absolutely reject and pretend that he will do something other than what he and other Republicans have promised to do. It is a cynical, dishonest, immoral and despicable approach but Romney is such a prolific liar he can tell lies in his sleep, so the focus at debate practice has been on getting in scripted zingers. If Romney can get just one sound bite zinger to register a chuckle, FOX news will play it hourly until election day.
October 3, 2012. DeBate University Gazette
|Obama Up By A Touchdown! Romney needs to score points in debate. Some polls have the President up by seven points which means Mitt Romney had better score a touchdown in the first debate or he's in big trouble because as the clock ticks down time works in Obama's favor. Republican analysts say it's time for some kind of Hail Mary play if Romney has one in his play book. October 2, 2012. Political Football|
|Drunken Boehner Confesses Sins!|
I'm a douchebag and been a big liar my whole life.
I grew up around my Dad's bar where he made me mop up after drunks who had pissed all over the bathroom. I used to pick up their wallets and steal their cash. I learned how to bullshit at a young age and that's all I ever do now.
October 1, 2012. Congressional Whiskey Bar.
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|Al-Awlaki's Final Seconds On Tape!|
Hellfire missile finds American-born terrorist in Yemen desert. Anwar al-Awlaki was humming along in his just-washed 1988 Mercedes Benz on the main highway crossing the hot Yemeni desert in the Al Jawf region and talking jihad with Samir Kahn, his webmaster and only other known American-born al-Qaeda terrorist, and then... Byaaaaang! He's soot. President Obama announced the development adding we've run out of influential American-born radical al-Qaeda terrorists to vaporize.
October 6, 2011. Yemen Blockbuster Video.