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Daily Racing Rag Special Report JEB BUSH EXCLUSIVE! If everybody else had these stories they wouldn't be exclusive
THE RAT PACK IS BACK In it's 40th year this cabaret style production changes only because the cast of celebrity impersonators keeps changing. Remaining are an endless stream of tasteless racist jokes and all women are dumb broads. This nostalgia is a nightmare and this supposedly classy era now looks more assy than classy.
ATTACK OF THE BEE TEAM At an Iowa politic event and pie eating contest GOP candidates are lured to a beekeeping exhibit on the same fairgrounds. After Jeb! puts on a bee repellent suit a Bush-backing beekeeper order his bees to swarm the unsuspecting sugar coated candidates who dare not move while Jeb! taunts them wickedly.
GOP SURVIVOR ISLAND 2016 Survivor Island for 2016 Republican candidates is the luxurious Lighthouse Bay Resort where "survival" conditions normally go for $2400 per night. Still after several days on the island paradise all the men begin to bond while Carly Fiorina somehow becomes less appealing with every bitter diatribe she spews.
COOL WHIMS Character actor Jeb Bush channels his inner Jethro Bodine and gosh gollies his way through a truck-size bucket list of fun but mostly cool things he's always wanted to do. A surprise cash windfall and his wife visiting relatives in Mexico triggers Jeb's sudden decision to get wiggy like brother George did in his college days.
SUBWAY SANDWICH - THE JEB! With Jerrod now in prison for eating way too fresh Subway has turned to a new series of cross-promotional campaign ads with GOP candidate Jeb!. Like Madonna he's dropped his last name and now Jeb! has dropped many other items from his calorie-conscience signature sandwich the "Jeb!".
WE CAN TAKE BACK IRAQ While campaigning in Iowa Jeb notices the overwhelming intoxicating power of fried pork that has everyone including himself in an altered state. He contacts Wolfowitz and they craft an unlikely new scheme for stabilizing Iraq that will leave you cheering for victory and craving fried pork like never before.
FLUB starring JEB BUSH In this political docu-drama Jeb makes an embarrassing flub which earns him the insider nickname of Flubber. After a massive illegal minority voter purge in Florida that paved the way for his brother to become President Jeb's minority outreach efforts ring hollow and insincere as participants head for the exits.
FLUB starring JEB BUSH
GOP SPORTS PRESENTS THE FLORIDA REPUBLICAN DERBY In what comes down to a possible match race between local Florida favorites odds makers are split between the well hydrated but slow old timer Jeb Bush or the famously thirsty much younger runner Marco Rubio.
THE KILL SHOT TV GUIDO calls this new MS-DNC horror flick based on a novel by the King of Horror a masterwork. The first scene has the Pope lamenting the world turning into a massive pile of filth just as the next Bush is launching into a foreordained campaign for the U.S.Presidency. Debuts this summer on Hysteria Channel.
JEBE - ERASE YOUR MEMORIES OF MY BROTHER In this made for TV movie Jeb learns hypnotism and mind tricks online from a Spanish Bosnian magician/mentalist and convinces dozens of folks on the campaign trail to wear pink rubber eraser-shaped hats they are told will erase all of their memories of his brother.
ORLANDO Jeb Bush stars as a mentally and physically challenged Latino named Orlando who has spent his entire adult life working at a Wal-Mart in Florida. Ricky Gervais guest stars as the manager who fixes up Orlando's wheelchair with motorcycle handlebars so Orlando is motivated to retrieve shopping carts and reduce labor costs.
THE CHOSEN ONE Jeb Bush barely survives his battle with Scott Walker in the Koch murder bowl only to displease the pharaohs with a semantics gaffe and they order the Harpy to attack. Just as Jeb is about to face his doom his dragon mother of the royal DragonBush blood swoops in to fly her son to safety.
AMERICAN PHARAOHS In yet another Game Of Thrones spin-off movie the action starts many moons after the dragon queen fled the arena with a modernized version of the murder bowl. Political candidates vie one-on-one for the approval of both the audience and the Koch brothers who were and still remain the power behind the Harpy.
JEBU JEBU After being married to a Mexican woman forever someone like Jeb Bush knows exactly what the Latino experience is all about and what attracts Latino fans especially Latino men. In this new music filled cinematic romp Jeb plays music superstar Jebu Jebu and while shamelessly flaunting his Spanish skills he hopes to attract the support of Latinos like no one else.
REVISIT THE DOOM / KILL THE BOY Who would ever return to the doom? The curious? The insane? The unknowing? This suspense-filled drama has Jeb Bush returning to the scene of his brother's heinous legacy with his protege Mario Rubio as hostage. They encounter shocking reminders of why no one else wishes to return to the doom.
BROTHERLY LOVE This new over-the-top soap style comedy series streams twice weekly and already has become a huge trending cult favorite. In his pursuit of the Republican presidential nomination Jeb Bush is forced to file for divorce and deport his Mexican born wife but the strategy works and Jeb becomes the GOP nominee. Then in the general election campaign a recently divorced former President George W. Bush joins Jeb on the campaign trail and they become inseparable. As election day approaches in a desperate plan to capture all-important electoral votes from blue states Jeb gay-marries his brother George hoping to swing LGBT voters to his side. Barbara in her best Barbara Stanwyck delivers the classic bellringer when she growls "We can do any goddam thing we please! We're the Bush's goddam it to hell!"
THE COUPON CHANNEL This was a no-brainer idea that's sure to make some TV executive enough money to never clip money saving coupons again. With no content other than a brand new money saving money off coupon appearing onscreen every sixty seconds this channel is mindless TV watching at it's most mindless. Viewers can sit and watch with their trigger finger ready to leap at the next new offer by printing out any or all of the money saving coupons on as many as 400 different devices currently available. A endless array of consumer goods services and products are offering coupons and it could actually save you money to mindlessly watch this channel even when intoxicated because unlike shopping channels all you can spend on this channel is printer ink printing out thousands of coupons before you pass out in your mindless stupor.
THE BAGGAGE HANDLER This new Lifeline/FoxWhite family movie deals with the problems of having an older or mentally challenged relative who either needs special handling or has an embarrassing past that could possibly ruin one's own personal ambitions. Jeb Bush struggles to deal with the baggage of his brother's past as he sets out on an incredible journey to reach his ultimate career goal but Jeb's journey is certain to be filled with disappointments and immensely difficult if not impossible to achieve.
BIRDMEN Two has-been middleweights both former politically-connected powerhouses take to the stage in a bitter fight auditioning for a prized role very few people want to see either of them play. Tensions mount backstage as both had assumed the role was theirs oblivious to the fact that the majority of their core audience would prefer anybody but these over-the-hill retirees in the leading man category. This award-winning film brilliantly exposes the shallow emotional fantasy world of political perceptions to the fresh air of realism and sunlight.
PITBUSH & PRIEBU$ - I'M SELLING TIMBER More new music from Florida rap superstar PITBUSH. This time he's joined by GOP Records recording artist PRIEBU$ in a funky latin-rap musical discussion of PITBUSH resigning from the board of a timber company and selling his shares. As PITBUSH seeks to further his U.S. Presidential ambitions his financial optics adviser Ray O'Nier suggested he stop holding onto timber.
PITBUSH - WE ARE ONE - GIVE ME EVERYTHING New dance music from the former Florida Governor Jeb Bush has been released in a surprise move by the war criminal's brother to help launch his own run for the White House. By emphasizing his connection with Latina women and his own brown children Jeb hopes to convince other possible candidates that he's the only Republican with a catchy Latin beat and that means he might have the best shot at winning a national contest.
HAUNTED This new suspense horror movie wavers between anticipation and dread as Jeb Bush who when his father was President slept in the White House enough times to know it was haunted is possessed to the point of distraction by the awful feeling he hasn't fulfilled his unspoken purpose. Jeb wants desperately to sleep in the White House again and contact the spirit world for further instructions but is tormented by the fact he must go through the bother of a Presidential campaign and endure the horror to be unleashed upon him as soon as he announces his quest. Endless red meat scenes on the campaign trail turn this haunting into a bloodbath. R-18 Photo ID Required
BUSH 3 is the long delayed release of New World Order's big budget musical drama where the entire global economy comes under the absolute and total control of the secret society of incredibly wealthy and billionaire families known as the Illuminati like no time since the fifteenth century. Jeb Bush stars a punch drunk broken down political fighter from Tallahassee who comes back from the brink after a life changing meeting with Apollo Greed played by Charles Koch followed up by a fast infusion of several million dollars for training facilities by Mickey Goldmill played by Sheldon Adelson. Eddie Money and Bush have updated the classic "Rocky 3" hit song "Eye of the Tiger" into a must-dance-to ode to billionaires called "I Own the Banker".
Revisit the 2012 U.S. Presidential DerbyRevisit the 2012 U.S. Presidential DerbyRevisit the 2012 U.S. Presidential DerbyRevisit the 2012 U.S. Presidential Derby
2012 Presidential Derby!
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