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Lord Mitt Romney says Of Course he'd have crossed the Delaware!
Lord Mitt Romney says "Of Course" He'd Have Crossed The Delaware!
"Of Course" he'd have written the Declaration Of Independence and "Of Course" he'd have discovered electricity.
Lord Mitt Romney said "Of Course" he'd have made the decision to go get Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan and added "Of Course" he'd have made the Louisiana Purchase, invented the cotton gin and restored the Union after winning the Civil War. April 30, 2012 read more
It's Mitt's party now!
Mitt's A Hit! Romney breaks out in song after locking up nomination. Lord Mitt Romney now owns the Republican Party and to celebrate he joyfully ran through some of his favorite musical numbers from his favorite Broadway musical. His most trusted allies and leading contenders for the Vice Presidential nomination were honored to participate. Singing and dancing along with Lord Romney were Florida Senator Marco Rubio, Ohio Senator Rob Portman and New Jersey Governor Chris Christie. Romney performed like a man who can do it all. April 26, 2012. Show Time Weekly
Lord knows what the ladies like!
Lord Knows What The Ladies Like! Dough. Moolah. Scratch. Bread. Cash. Gelt. Gold.
Lord Mitt Romney says that if you give the ladies a taste of the golden goose all their petty problems seem to disappear like champagne bubbles. Lord Romney's only adviser on women's issues, Lady Ann Romney, enthusiastically agrees, literally singing her Lord's praises after a test drive in a gold plated luxury car she can afford with only a fraction of the cash available after Lord Romney closed his secret Swiss bank account for the sake of appearances. April 24, 2012. Golden Rule Monthly
Michele Bachmann
Haley Barbour pardoned Mitt Romney
John Boehner endorsed Mitt Romney
Mike Bloomberg
John Bolton endorsed Mitt Romney
Herman Cain endorsed Newt Gingrich
Eric Cantor endorsed Mitt Romney
Chris Christie endorsed Mitt Romney
Mitch Daniels endorsed Mitt Romney
Newt Gingrich
Mike Huckabee
Jon Huntsman endorsed Mitt Romney
Bobby Jindal endorsed Rick Perry
Gary Johnson endorsed Ron Paul
Rush Limbaugh
John McCain endorsed Mitt Romney
Mitch McConnell endorsed Mitt Romney
Grover Norquist
President Barack Obama
Sarah Palin endorsed Newt Gingrich
Tim Pawlenty endorsed Mitt Romney
Rand Paul endorsed Ron Paul
Ron Paul
Mike Pence
Rick Perry endorsed Newt Gingrich
Harry Reid endorsed President Obama
Mitt Romney
Marco Rubio endorsed Mitt Romney
Paul Ryan endorsed Mitt Romney
Rick Santorum
John Thune endorsed Mitt Romney
Donald Trump endorsed Mitt Romney

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If everybody else had these exclusive special reports they wouldn't be exclusive or special.
INTERNET FAIRNESS/BIAS ALERT: The Daily Racing Rag considers almost all Republican politicians, their celebrity endorsers and FOX NEWS personalities to be evil mercenary America-hating greedy scumbags and belligerent compulsive liars who are destroying America and will rightfully burn in hell if God is watching television.
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Sarah Palin and Allen West doing it!
Sarah Palin and Allen West Doing It! Once a week and sometimes more. At least once a week both Sarah Palin and Florida Congressman Allen West will issue another outrageous, provocative and often asinine statement that never fails to attract media attention which they then immediately cash in on through fundraising. How many times their political base can be suckered isn't even in question as their fans seem to enjoy being duped over and over. Palin endorsed Allen West as a GOP VP candidate and they now work in tandem to maximize their fundraising cash haul. The politics for profit business has never been so lucrative. April 23, 2012. Creative Fundraiser Monthly
Mad cow caused by channel change! Mad Cow Blamed On Cable Company
Cow was supposed to be watching soap operas.

A formerly contented cow living on a California dairy farm came down with a case of Mad Cow after the local cable company reassigned the cable channel numbers. Dairy farmer Jess Milken knows daytime soap operas are soothing to cows but found it hilarious when one cow started mooing angrily after the channel changed to FOX NEWS. Then the cow bit the head off a chicken so Jess called the veterinarian who fitted the angry cow with a special mask. The vet recommended the television stay on soap operas and the mask stay on the cow until the still furious cow calms down.
April 22, 2012. Don's Dairy Farm Digest
Nugent hires Zimmerman and Huckabee!
Hannity Gets Zimmerman And Huckabee Gigs With Ted Nugent Band! "Stand Your Ground" tour to begin this summer. Well known right-wing gun enthusiast, rock n' roll geezer and loudmouth dumbass clown, Ted Nugent, jammed with his new band mates and then told NRA convention members that next year he will either be dead or in jail, implying he will shoot President Obama like an animal if the American public doesn't vote the way Ted Nugent wants this fall. The Secret Service said they will interview Nugent about his near death threats against the President which could be considered illegal under federal law. A tone deaf Sean Hannity was on hand masturbating to Nugent's rock n' roll oldies while playing air guitar. April 18, 2012. Summer Rock Tour Update
Mormon Jesus turned wine into root beer! Mormon Jesus Turned Wine Into Root Beer! Jesus arrival in Utah faced skepticism. Mormons don't drink alcohol because when they do they have visions and rewrite the Bible. In the 1800'a they were chased out of U.S. territory and south of the border to Mexico for their polygamist ways. The U.S. government allowed the Mormons back into the U.S only after they gave up polygamy. They have had many unorthodox beliefs some seen as wacky but in 2012 the fact that Mitt Romney is a Mormon will likely have little effect on the outcome of the U.S. Presidential election.
April 17, 2012. Jesus Centennial Blog
Lady Ann Has Hands Full! Juggling motherhood and country club duties a full time job. Lady Ann Romney has many duties including looking after the children, looking after the Romney's multiple houses and many luxury cars, managing multimillion dollar assets, scheduling endless beauty, health and shopping chores, keeping track of family treasures, collections and other assets as well as planning for holiday extravaganzas and society charity balls. She also finds time for sporting activities and competes with her multimillion dollar stable of show horses. Hers is certainly not a life of idle opulent luxury but rather a more purposeful life of busy opulent luxury.
April 16, 2012. Country Club Monthly
Lady Ann Romney has hands full!
Lady Ann Romney rides a millon dollar pony! My Little Ponies!
Lady Ann Romney owns several dressage horses that cost over $1,000,000.

The Romney campaign is 100% certain that American working women will identify strongly with Lady Ann's common touch with her million dollar ponies. Because Lady Ann also occasionally rides in country club competitions one pony is not enough and because Lady Ann is filthy rich she can own as many ponies as she desires. Lady Ann intends to introduce the equestrian sport of dressage to the American public and hopes it will soon dominate the sports pages of American newspapers. Likewise, the Olympics-inspired Romney sons may use their new celebrity to promote their favorite sports of polo, archery and badminton.
April 14, 2012. Country Club Sportsman
Bush Short On Pull! George W. Bush has little influence on GOP politics or anything else in 2012 Like a carnival attraction, the former President is now openly disparaged by Conservatives in the Republican party who realize what an utter disaster his Presidency was and how George W. Bush stupidly led America to the brink of financial ruin with poorly planned wars and crippling Bush tax cuts that were dishonestly financed by borrowing from the Chinese. Bush said history would be the judge and judging by his current diminished stature, history has given "W" a final grade of "F".
April 13, 2012. Dismal History Digest
George W. Bush has little influence on GOP politics in 2012!
Romney unzipped! Romney Unzipped! Romney gets up close and personal during relaxing Easter weekend at his $12 million tax deductible California vacation beach house. American taxpayers get a great deal subsidizing the Romney family vacation home because Mitt was able to unwind from his challenging task of convincing the American people to vote against their own best interests and make it easier than it already is for filthy rich multimillionaires like Romney to have a relaxing weekend.
April 12, 2012. La Jolla Wealthy Asskisser
Trump Dumps On GOP Budget Plan! The public will NOT buy that crap! The Donald went on to call Paul Ryan politically naive and said if Mitt Romney embraces the Ryan budget plan too closely he will guarantee the reelection of President Obama. When asked about which ingredients in the Republican formulated budget make it so unpalatable, Trump called the whole plan a "recipe for disaster". The Donald utilized his psychic observational powers to recognize that a total gutting of the popular Medicare program for seniors would not rally support from anybody who has or ever had parents and would also poll poorly with voters who currently have hopes of living past age 65.
April 11, 2012. Celebrity Policy Review
Trump dumps on GOP budget plan!
Santorum campaign ends! Santorum Succumbs!
Rick Santorum submits to Lord Mitt Romney and ends campaign after restless night on Barcalounger leather recliner.
Former Senator Santorum was able to avoid a public crucifixion and painful personal political humiliation on April 27 in his home state of Pennsylvania.
April 10, 2012. Passion Planet Weekly
Santorum Has Passion And He Must Go On!
Republican guards loyal to Lord Mitt Romney try to shout a battered Rick Santorum into submission but he refuses to give up.
Romney has almost all the Republican power establishment including Chris Christie, Tim Pawlenty, Donald Trump and Paul Ryan among many others on his side now and they are eager to move on to the fight against President Obama. However, despite overwhelming odds, a defiant and pious Rick Santorum trudges on to a potential personal political destruction as soon as April 27 in Pennsylvania GOP primary.
April 5, 2012. Passion Planet Weekly
Santorum has passion!
Mission Accomplished! Homegrown Terror! Radical right-wing group successfully infiltrates U.S. Supreme Court and thwarts will of majority of Americans. The master plan for a New World Order requires the reversal of social progress as the people simply cannot have what they want because the billionaire wealthy elite enjoy living as Gods and saying what is so and deciding who lives and who dies. Right is Wrong and Peace is War and Save is Spend and Health is Death.
April 4, 2012. Armageddon Law Review
Not In Public! Romney refused to been seen in public with Wisconsin Governor. A local Wisconsin janitor reports overhearing a secret restroom political meeting discussing why Mitt Romney hasn't appeared in public with Governor Scott Walker. Walker's looming recall election and his ongoing criminal investigation of activities before he became Wisconsin's Governor in 2010 were discussed.
April 3, 2012. Wisconsin Janitorial News
Not In Public!
Kindergarten Congress - now playing!

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Al-Awlaki's Final Seconds On Tape!
Hellfire missile finds American-born terrorist in Yemen desert.
Anwar al-Awlaki was humming along in his just-washed 1988 Mercedes Benz on the main highway crossing the hot Yemeni desert in the Al Jawf region and talking jihad with Samir Kahn, his webmaster and only other known American-born al-Qaeda terrorist, and then... Byaaaaang! He's soot. President Obama announced the development adding we've run out of influential American-born radical al-Qaeda terrorists to vaporize.
October 6, 2011. Yemen Blockbuster Video.
Anwar al-Awlaki's Final Seconds
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