DailyRacingRag.com - September 2012

We Got Money! Romney says campaign is doing simply Marvelous! Just look at the money people throw at us and we don't even need it. Even if Romney loses the election Mitt has guaranteed that he and Ann will make a nice profit. For appearances sake, Mitt overpaid his 2011 income taxes. Otherwise, he would have been caught in another lie because he repeatedly said he paid at least 13.9% which is already ridiculously low. He could have gotten away paying only 9% but that would make him appear more like a tax cheat than he already does. If Mitt loses the election all he has to do is file an amended return to get a refund check of approximately $2.5 million. September 27, 2012. Romney Monsoon Fund Monthly

AARP Shrugs Turn To Boos! Ryan booed by old white people! How an all white conservative Republican on an an all white conservative Republican Presidential ticket can alienate and offend a crowd of nearly all white conservative Republican seniors isn't easy but Paul Ryan did it as he was booed repeatedly while speaking at the American Association of Retired Persons convention this week. The tires have blown off the Romney-Ryan senior citizen bus as recent polls show that the Romney-Ryan ticket has lost a 35 point lead among seniors with their plan to destroy Medicare and Medicaid. It has become a fact that most seniors like everything about Obamacare except the name Obamacare. The popular provisions of the Affordable Care Act are now the law and most seniors and all beneficiaries don't want Romney or Ryan or anybody taking those benefits away now that they have them. September 26, 2012. Who Got Booed Monthly

Romney Tries New Tone! Mitt morphs into Mexican from Mexico City for Spanish language TV. Critics quickly attacked Romney for dyeing his face brown and it was obvious whenever either of his lily white hands got near his face. Nobody criticized Mitt's new mustache, however, maybe because it looked muy macho. Romney didn't give any reasons for Latino voters to vote for him but he definitely made an appearance. September 25, 2012. Mexico Televiso La Nacho

New Secret Romney Video From Florida Mansion! Lord Romney revealed as preening pompous plutocrat. Putting on airs comes naturally for this silver spooner and it absolutely delights Lord Romney to sit upon his throne and lord about the castle in a lordly manor while white gloved servants rustle about underfoot always careful to never make eye contact with the Lord. Lord Romney is accompanied by his king's golden crown and scepter from the 14th century, his royal throne from the 12th century and a 7th century invisible royal robe when attending private no press big donor fundraisers. Only the elite multimillion dollar fundraisers get a private audience with Lord Romney to behold the Lord Romney wearing his birthright in all his glory. September 24, 2012. NewsLord Weekly

800,000 Romney Books Returned To Publisher! Slow sales force clearance discounts. Everyone knew the book wasn't worth reading but the publishers had hoped that a couple million Republicans might want to buy a coffee table size copy of the book full of glossy photos as a souvenir hoping that Mitt Romney could sign it for them one day. It didn't happen and now semi-truck trailers full of the Romney books are on the way back to the publisher to be shredded and recycled. September 23, 2012. Book Disasters Blog

Forward! The coming presidential election offers an easy choice. America as a democracy with a President of the people and for the people... OR ...America as a plutocracy ruled by billionaires who are catered to by Republican Koch-sucking stooges in Congress and a "Rubberstamp Romney" in the White House. We endorse the re-election of President Obama and the ouster of every Republican member of Congress.
Daily Racing Rag

Hip Hop Setback For Comeback Team! Duo gets backstage but find no backers. A Romney campaign aide thought Nicki Minaj had endorsed Romney because she says so on in a rhyme on her record but when the corporate crusaders got backstage they were embarrassed and dismayed to learn that both Nicki Minaj and Beyonce had endorsed President Obama. That takes the demonic duo all the way back to zero in the influential hip hop celebrity endorsement tally. September 24, 2012. Celebrity Junkie Blog

Russian President Putin in vintage 1940's four cylinder drive up suicide wiener bomb.

Russian Missiles Get Great Mileage! Four cylinder missile delivery system from the 1940's is no threat to America. Mitt Romney doesn't see it that way. He wants to spend an extra $2 trillion on military weaponry including reviving a scrapped Cold War plan to install nuclear missiles in Poland and point them at Russia. NATO and U.S. Defense Department analysts said it was a bad idea and waste of money and the plan was eventually dumped. Lost in a Cold War time warp Mitt Romney has named Russia as America's number one geopolitical foe and still wants those nuclear missiles installed in Poland. Romney has surrounded himself with the same old warmonger neocons like John Bolton who encouraged George Bush to start two unfunded wars that have cost over $4 trillion dollars.
September 23, 2012. Cold Warrior Almanac

The Era Of Cartoon Conservatives! Rush Limbaugh touts Elmer Fudd as a Wepublican. Rush Limbaugh has frequently said he'd be happy with Limbaugh lookalike Elmer Fudd as the GOP nominee and Limbaugh was more than a little serious. Grover Norquist echoed the same sentiments saying a President Elmer Fudd was only needed to sign House Republican anti-tax legislation and nothing more. The trend towards cartoonish candidates began in 2008 with Sarah Palin. Then in the 2010 many low information cartoon like Tea Party types came along. The trend became an explosion in the months leading into this year's Republican primaries due to the clown car cast of conservative caricature candidates.
September 22, 2012. Fudd Weport

See Ya Later Loser! Christie signals goodbye and abandons Romney.
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie has been campaigning with fellow Republicans in his home state but hasn't made any appearances with the Romney Ryan campaign since their convention in Tampa. Once Rush Limbaugh compared Mitt Romney to Elmer Fudd, Republican candidates started going out of their way to be nowhere near the Romney or Ryan campaign stages. President Obama has opened up a significant lead in most national polls, a large winning margin in the electoral college count and a huge lead of 66 to 33 on Intrade.com where people back up their opinions with cash money. Christie annoyed the Romney campaign by using his convention speech to boost his own political profile.
September 21, 2012. Friends Like These

Romney Ship Taking On Water! Right wing pirates starting to abandon ship. Arrrrgh! Capt Romney may have to face down the bubblin' fury of a pirate mutiny led by ship's mate Rush Limbaugh and galley wench Laura Ingram as some of the crew may already be lookin' to the highest yardarm to string 'emselves up this former son of a Lord turned ruthless pirate who's now gone and run their ship aground more than once. September 20, 2012. Ye Olde Pirate Post

Southern Tea Party Republicans believe Romney probably has more than one wife.

Southern Tea Party Birthers Add New Channels! 25% of Southern GOP voters now believe Mormons are a polygamous cult and Mitt Romney probably has more than one wife. In very bad news for the Romney campaign a new independent survey says that mostly Southern Republican Tea Party voters who still believe President Obama was born in Africa and is a practicing Muslim also believe that Mormon leader Mitt Romney probably has at least two other wives because he is so devout to Mormon secrecy and even more because he has enough money stashed around the world to keep an entire harem quiet. Over 40% of all Republicans truly believe Mormons still practice polygamy today. Possibly because people enjoy watching television shows like "Big Love" even more than equally fictitious FOX News spin, the number is actually growing more than 100 years after the practice was outlawed. Also as a result of deliberate misinformation campaigns over 45% of all red state Republicans now think the President was not born in the U.S.A. twice the number of 2008 GOP voters who thought so.
September 19, 2012. We Believe What?

Uncle Sam Says United States Not In Decline! Viet Nam veteran John Kerry stepped into the role of Uncle Sam at the Democratic convention to angrily set Mitt Romney straight. Kerry thrust out his finger straight ahead like a bayonet as if to put it right between Mitt Romney's eyes and BOOMED "ASK OSAMA BIN LADEN IF HE'S BETTER OFF NOW THAN WAS FOUR YEARS AGO!" Uncle Sam was beside himself and couldn't have been more righteously pissed that ANY presidential candidate of any party would sell America short and insult America's warriors. Mitt Romney is a freakin' jerk to say absolutely the very least. Okay that's not enough, Mitt Romney is a prissy pessimist prima donna who insulted all veterans and veterans families by omitting them from his big whiny, dishonest speech in Tampa. September 18, 2012. Uncle Sam's Club

Undemonize Me, Please. New Romney ads featuring sympathetic Mitt match Ann's pity party.
The Republican Tea Party advertising brain trust that advised Christine O'Donnell, who was famously accused of being a witch, has rushed in to rescue what Ann Romney called a DEMONIZED Mitt Romney on Meet The Press. The new Romney ads are known to be effective with brain dead, schizophrenic and psychotic voters in swing state psychiatric hospitals but campaign insiders say that if they can convince independent voters that Democratic witch doctors from the black jungle in Kenya are responsible for the powerful magic that makes Romney and Ryan appear as demons, then they have a shot at winning the newly fearful backlash voters. September 17, 2012. Advertising Insider

Ryan Says He Was Demonized Too! Whining Wyan widing Womney wagon twain o' woe.
Demonization is a recurring Weepublican whine drenched theme echoed by Paul Ryan and an official pity party talking point aimed at reaching below the belt and yanking a reaction from undecided voters who fear demons. The tactic can back fire easily, however, as terrified folks can't always distinguish between the demons and the demonizers and start to see only demons and then more demons. Senate candidate Todd Akin of Missouri remained off message by saying everybody was a little sore but only he had been "legitimately" demonized. September 16, 2012. The Daily Demonizer

Ann Romney Complains Mitt Has Been Demonized! Wimp's wife weeps and wallows on whine time TV while Hello Mitty watches and whimpers and speaks in whispers. She has over $100 million in her IRA retirement account without ever holding a paid job but Ann Romney wants the little people to know that she and Mitt understand what struggle is. My goodness! Mitt has been turned into a demon and we've had to call in an exorcist. And my dancing horse has a charley horse and that worries me. So I certainly do understand struggling to get through a tough day and then struggling to have enough energy for a fabulous dinner party later that same evening.
September 14, 2012. Meet The Press Blog

McCain critical of everything and everybody.

McCain Critical Of Everybody! Obama and Romney both make his bones rattle with rage.
Senator John McCain will never get over his hatred for Russians who visited his Hanoi Hilton prison cell five decades ago and McCain will never get over his hatred of the person responsible for denying him the Presidency, Barack Obama. But now McCain has found a new transgressor in Mitt Romney who led a Soviet-style political convention in Tampa where the last presidential nominee, John McCain, was institutionally erased from memory and became a nonperson that was never mentioned and whose candidacy never happened. McCain's rage is reaching nuclear meltdown status as a recent count found seven different locations around the globe that McCain has called for the use of U.S. military force in the last three years.
September 12, 2012. Smithsonian Newsroom

Romney Wants $2 Trillion Defense Spending Increase To Counter Russians! Putin leads Siberian cranes on radar evading reconnaissance mission. Republican neocons and military contractors reacted as if to air raid sirens as they immediately recognized an urgent opportunity to justify a new rationale for unwarranted defense spending increases despite a national budgetary crisis. Romney has criticized President Obama while ignorantly labeling Russia as our number one geopolitical threat. In Mitt's world... forgot about the war in Afghanistan, forget about Iran and even forgot about Al Queada because in Mitt's Mad Mad Mad World... Russia is our number one threat. Putin was leading the endangered cranes over Siberia in a widely ridiculed stunt. The Department of Defense did not ask for the additional $2 trillion dollars Republicans want them to spend as stated in their official party platform. September 10, 2012. The Neocon Noodleer

Insiders Say Fox News Political Analyst A Lying Sack Of Sh*t! One of the network's high profile political analysts is actually a hologram on a Hefty bag. Insiders spoke anonymously for fear of their electronic shock collars being activated by their Fox News implant mind control microchips. Employees said the level of bullshit in the Fox newsroom is so thick they clean it out with skip loaders on weekends. The most surprising revelation was how one political commentator's hologram is projected upon a plastic bag full of crap because a Fox News bigwig finds the classic wag bag gag a laugh riot and the coolest practical joke of all time. September 9, 2012. Behind The Lens

FOX PAPOOTA POLLS CROWBAIT! Worthless twaddle touted by corrupt crapsacks. Take today, September 8, for example. The fraudulent pull-a-poll-out-of-their-ass (PAPOOTA) poll at FOX News says Obama Job Approval 47% Disapprove 49%. The poll of all legitimate polls, THE GALLUP POLL, says Obama Job Approval 52% Disapprove 42%. September 8, 2012. FOX's Bad Math Magazine

Right Wing Diarrhea Thinning In Effectiveness! A majority of all voters have finally had enough with the obviously dishonest partisan political stink. Millions of people are catching on to the fact that right wing fart bombers have to continuously take public dumps on the truth to get paid and sell books. Fox News intentionally sells crap as news and stink as opinion

just to create controversy and get ratings. The strategy successfully propelled them in the ratings but they've been doing it year after year and it's gotten old and tired and 100% predictable and those rambunctious boys who have been crying wolf forever now reek with repetition and a fetid old man stink or an awful old lady odor in the case of Ann Coulter. Okay we get it. It was great for entrepreneurial spirits that these famous talking wag bags made tons of money but you know what? Their smell is goddam awful and no amount of Fabreze commercials will help. Why would the public want to smell or watch or listen to any more of these crapsack pundits once they know that it's all just packaged poop for resale. FOX should flush it and them and move on to some other ratings scam strategy for the good health of everybody.
September 7, 2012. Rooters News Report

World Famous Seer And Psychic Predicts Shocking October Surprise!
Mitt's Romneyan secret may go where no politician has gone before. A world famous seer and psychic who chose to remain anonymous due to a current 106 day winning streak at the OTB claimed the world will be both shocked and terrified. She told of a vision that suddenly explained Romney's mysterious aloof nature and why he doesn't like to talk about himself. After cashing an impressive superfecta the anonymous psychic went on to say that the terrifying part of her vision will be something like Star Trek meets Scientology. When a cloaked Romulan warbird piloted by Tom Cruise is discovered orbiting planet earth a worldwide panic ensues until a sparkling purple aura magically encircles the planet and induces mass euphoria and memory loss among humans. Video cassettes return as the preferred option for renting movies. September 5, 2012. Romulan Ale Blog

Video Rentals Only 99 Cents! Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan conquer Hollywood.
Clint Eastwood opened the door at the Republican National Convention and now Republicans are beating down the doors at Hollywood movie studios with the intention of remaking major movie classics with all Republican casts for a more fair and balanced storytelling of how anything liberal is bad and how anything Republican billionaires like is good. Romney Ryan Productions has a long list of movies they intend to rewrite and make more suitable for sanctimonious conservative family viewing. Clint Eastwood and several of his former wives will be heavily involved and Dirty Harry will no longer be dirty.
September 2, 2012. The Hollywood Conservative

Al-Awlaki's Final Seconds On Tape!
Hellfire missile finds American-born terrorist in Yemen desert. Anwar al-Awlaki was humming along in his just-washed 1988 Mercedes Benz on the main highway crossing the hot Yemeni desert in the Al Jawf region and talking jihad with Samir Kahn, his webmaster and only other known American-born al-Qaeda terrorist, and then... Byaaaaang! He's soot. President Obama announced the development adding we've run out of influential American-born radical al-Qaeda terrorists to vaporize.
October 6, 2011. Yemen Blockbuster Video.