Sarah Palin 2012 - Special Report

Palin Says "I'm Not Finished!" Predicts Republican nominee will come from brokered convention and that she's available and still has the fire in the belly to run. It might have been the tequila margarita that her personal chef prepared for the fiesta lunch in her swank new Arizona mansion but Sarah Palin said she would be willing to help out Republicans by accepting their nomination without participating in a single primary or caucus. "It won't be the voters who decide the Republican nominee." Sarah said seriously and she should know after she somehow seduced her way onto the 2008 GOP Presidential ticket with John McCain. Nobody has more reason to disregard voter concerns than Palin because she is living proof that backroom or bedroom deals and brokered arrangements mean more to the Republican power establishment than anything. To Sarah Palin the United States are united only in the sense that she can ignore all of the states and all of their voters and still come out smelling like a million bucks. February 17, 2012. Arizona Pistol Times

Biggest Story In U.S Politics Happening In U.K.! Most Americans have no idea how much hot water the "Godfather of Conservative Politics" is in. Rupert Murdoch's top executives in the United Kingdom continue to be arrested on serious charges of corruption and illegal phone hacking in an ongoing investigation and scandal that grows bigger every day. The Murdoch media empire allegedly acted above the law for decades. Whenever employees were caught routinely breaking the law in the course of muck racking, illegal phone hacking and criminal trespassing, bribes were paid and business continued as usual. Rupert Murdoch may now be paying hush money to hundreds of current and former employees but beans were spilled and the crimes of his empire might actually bring the multi-billionaire down. Why that could be the biggest story in American politics is simple. If even a sliver of the U.K. scandal surfaces here in the U.S., FOX NEWS will change it's anti-Obama right-wing Republican tunes so fast heads will spin. Not even billionaires can withstand a swarm of U.S. Justice Department prosecutors. Similar to killer bees chasing a doomed man into a piranha infested swamp, a long list of career-ending criminal charges are usually filed and federal prosecutors have a 98% conviction rate. As a matter of Murdoch's personal survival, FOX NEWS may tone down hate talk and wacky anti-government Tea Party crap and snuggle up closer than ever to the status quo which means the middle of the political spectrum or even embracing President Obama in the event of a landslide re-election victory. The closer the scandal comes to America, the bigger the danger to Murdoch personally and the more FOX NEWS will sound like his Wall Street Journal turning Joe Biden Democrat. February 16, 2012. World Illuminati Report

Sarah Palin threatens to sue author over book.

Sarah Threatens Lawsuit Against Founding Fathers!
Freedom of Speech was "not wise" because Sarah's secret sexual boning of a black athlete has been exposed.
Sarah Palin was once gaga for black athletes and now that taste for dark meat has come back to bite her political aspirations in the asp. Author Joe McGinnis scoured Alaska for information about Palin and ended up living next door to his book's subject. The Palins issued a harsh warning to their associates not to talk to the author and consequently most of the anecdotal stories originate from folks who don't much like the Palins. Allegations that damage Palin's political image include Palin snorting cocaine on an oil drum and having sex with a former NBA basketball player. Palin's base of support with both sanctimonious evangelicals and the white supremacy movement may have evaporated overnight.
September 27, 2011. Palin Book-of-the-Month

Palin Dance Music Video Fun And Amazing!
She's never looked better in catchy cop dance sequence and she can sing too.
Sarah Palin is going to do things her way and that's a fortunate gift for the rest of us. She was born for the era of celebrity politics and after a feature film she has created this sing and dance music Oreo cookie that brings back all the fun of the best music videos but may actually be the best political commercial ever filmed as well. It starts out with a thumping soundtrack like a rollicking new smash dance hit from J Lo and then shockingly it's Sarah Palin singing and sexy-dancing all her favorite Tea Party talking points but crazy and unbelievably I'm up and dancing with her. The black mini-skirt dance sequence with some frisky law enforcment officers may win over an entire generation of young voters. She is so so crazy she's crazy like a FOX.
September 23, 2011. DanceDaddy Fanzine

Palin Plan To Boost Sagging Support!
She knows a surprise announcement will measurably perk things up in the base.
Sarah Palin reckons Rick Perry is kinda dumb and has too much baggage and Michele Bachmann just doesn't know how to excite the male conservative base. Sarah is a natural and excites male right wing activists down to the bone. She has always had the X factor and is almost ready to squat on the field and smother the base with her anesthetizing aura. She has simply been waiting at the bedroom door until the GOP electorate realizes how boring the other candidates are compared to the one and only Sarah Palin. Once Sarah officially announces she is running for President and back in command of the Tea Party movement she can then spread her wings and invite all Republicans back into her fold. Turns out she is no dummie at all. She's crazy like a FOX.
September 21, 2011. Palin Papparazzi Service

Palin has plan to boost sagging support.

Did Palin Abandon NBA Lovechild?
Actor thinks Palin may be his mother and former NBA star his father.
After growing up without a mother and father one man has refused to end his lifelong search and asked Maury Povich to help him find his biological parents. When Tracy Morgan recently heard of the long ago lovemaking between a very young Sarah Palin and former NBA basketball player Glenn Rice, he immediately called his pal Maury Povich to help him arrange a special revelation show Morgan calls "some kinda super bowl of paternity and maternity show like who's ya daddy? and who's ya mama? like sumpin for all time! like baaaang!" Rice has confirmed he made long strong love to Palin, an eager young beauty with a firm ass he called "sweetheart". Palin may have felt pressure to settle this issue once and for all before she finally decides on deciding to run or not.
September 17, 2011. Who-Da-Daddy Studios

Palin Leaves 'Em Guessing In Iowa!
Ignores obvious question No wires?... No hooks?... No adjusting straps?
Sarah Palin gave a speech full of moose meat zingers aimed at the President but everyone was really wondering if Sarah was wearing the bra they sell on television? Speculation included the possibility that Palin could head the HSN (Home Shopping Network) if she doesn't run for the GOP nomination.
September 4, 2011. TP Confest, Iowa TP Dome

Palin Really Really Wants To Run!
She wants 100% support from FOX news and continued unlimited financial support from Rupert Murdoch.
95% of the income Sarah Palin has received in her lifetime has all come in the last four years and almost all directly from Rupert Murdoch and his multitude of media entities. No politician in American history has been more bought and paid for than Palin so she obviously has sought the assurances of 80 year-old Murdoch that her new lavish lifestyle will not suffer due to a campaign for the Republican nomination. In addition, since she has not bothered to establish a political network she will need the 100% commitment of support from Murdoch's FOX news network.
September 2, 2011. Sun Valley Think Tank

Palin really really really wants to run!

Palin In Iowa For Tea Party Event!
Palin will sell signed DVD's and books at Tea Party convention booth.
A Palin spokesperson said of her upcoming appearance at the DVD and book sale. "This is a DVD and book sale to be able to express to Iowans how much we appreciate our foundation and to invite more people to be interested in all that is good about Iowa and to remind ourselves we don't need to fundamentally transform Iowa, we only need to fundamentally transform the rest of America." Palin's just released DVD, "The Undefeated", will be available for purchase.
August 5, 2011. Des Moines Motorcycle Swap Meet n' Greet

Palin returns to Iowa for Tea Party event.

Palin Says America Is Heading In The Wrong Direction!
Sarah Palin jumps off bus for motorcycle ride.
Palin mingled leisurly with pony-tailed true patriots and Tea Party supporters. Amid a seies of looping and unTwitterable comments, Palin said of her bus, "This is a bus to be able to express to America how much we appreciate our foundation and to invite more people to be interested in all that is good about America and to remind ourselves we don't need to fundamentally transform America, we need to restore what's good about America". The bus driver made no comment even under the assurance of anonymity lest he rile the rolling thunder portion of the foundation and be chased under the brightly painted bus.
June 1, 2011. D.C. Motorcycle Swap Meet

Palin says America is headed the wrong way.

Palin Blames Obama!
Palin crashes on the Road To Ruin, says wreckage was caused by Obama's European-style socialist driver programs being shoved down her throat. Police officers on the scene were about to check for drunk driving because the driver would not stop a ranting tirade about it being 100% Obama's fault when one officer recognized Palin and realized she was just rehearsing a speech she was scheduled to deliver later that day. The investigation remains open because officers were unable to determine how Obama had caused the accident.
February 17, 2011. K Street and Road To Ruin Intersection.

Palin Had Prior Wreckage!
Sarah Palin involved in previous accident in Alaska. Obama was also blamed for that wreckage by Palin. Alaska State Troopers on the scene were suspicious of a drunk driver but the investigation was never finished because they could not locate Obama who had fled the scene according to Palin. President Obama was also seen in Washington D.C. that day.
February 17, 2011. Alaska State Trooper Archives.

Mike And Ike Strategy Pitched To Palin!
The RNC wants Palin as nominee and Michael Steele wants to remain RNC President. With Obama veering to the center on tax issues, Michael Steele sees an opportunity for a surprise back door strategy to steal the black vote from President Obama. Steele has enlisted Ike Turner in what he calls his Mike and Ike strategy. The plan calls for Sarah Palin singing in a Gospel Hour Easter television special and visiting inner city battered womens shelters to gain street cred with African-American voters.
December 8, 2010. Alaska NAACP Round Up

HAS RUPERT CONQUERED AMERICA?
With at least three employees running for President it's all up to Rupert Murdoch.
Sarah Palin has a big money contract as a paid contributor for Murdoch's FOX news. Mike Huckabee hosts a talk show on FOX cable and Newt Gingrich is also a paid contributor. Of the top four contenders for the Republican Presidential nomination only Mitt Romney is not currently employed by Rupert Murdoch. When jokingly asked about Mitt being the black sheep, OMG Palin said she couldn't care less LOL. November 23, 2010 . Wasilla Wrestlin Arena Dressin Room

Men See Sarah Palin Differently Than Women Do! Psychologist studies show significant differences between men and women's perceptions of Sarah Palin. Men tend to see Sarah Palin much more favorably than women do and give her a much higher positive favorabliity rating overall. Men also see Sarah Palin as much more physically attractive than women do.
November 17, 2010. Discount Psyche Magazine

Studies say men see Sarah Palin differently than women.

Sarah Palin will star in a reality series from Alaska on the Discovery Channel

Discovery Channel's Newest Reality Series Star!
Sarah Palin will be hosting her own nature and reality series starring herself, her family and an extended-family group of Alaskan grizzly bears. Sarah is excited about the upcoming project that will add to the $12 million dollar fortune she has earned since quitting the Alaska Governor's job after only 18 months. Despite criticism from Karl Rove that frolicking in the Alaskan wilderness with grizzly bears is not the best way to run for President, Sarah can point to the fact that the Republican National Commitee has already chosen her as their nominee. Sarah is also quick to point out you don't want to mess with grizzly mamas and some of those same grizzly mamas are comfortable with Sarah hanging out with them on her new basic cable television show.
October 29, 2010. Hollywood NaturePose Photo Studio A

Sarah Palin and daughter Bristol Palin practice for Dancing With The Stars.

Bristol Not Only Palin To Dance!
Sarah Palin can also dance and may appear with her daugther in a group dance number on "Dancing With The Stars". Daughter Bristol has been doing very well on the hit television show and producers expect ratings to soar when the group dance number airs. Sarah's partner has been kept secret and but she'll get all the professional dance help she needs just like her daughter who has blossomed into a grizzly good dancer. The Disney company owns the popular television series and the Palin family dance number is part of Sarah's meticulously planned Disneyfication in progress. It's all leading up to her expected run for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination. No amount of money is being spared in the effort by the richest of the superrich to groom Sarah Palin to be the family-friendly spokesperson for the most powerful corporations and conservative business groups on earth.
October 23, 2010. Beverly Hills Dance Academy

Sarah In Wonderland Coming Soon!
Palin will debut her new image makeover within sight and smell of Disneyland. Just as Disneyland Park got rid of it's animatronic bears years ago Sarah will drop the scary grizzly bear talk and morph into a Disney heroine and spunky mother who inspires her daughter to victory on "Dancing With The Stars". Even the first dude has been taking Kurt Russell lessons and eating whole grains to activate the wholesomeness of his Disney being. A veteran Hollywood casting agent says Bruce Jenner has set a low bar for powerless television Dads which makes the Palin family big screen material and Disney screenwriters are busily churning out scripts for G-rated family entertainment. The complete Disneyfication will occur gradually and is timed for the 2012 GOP primary races. By then any blemishes in the Palin family lifestyle will have been airbrushed into a hit television series with devoted fans to rival any fantasy family in Disney entertainment history.
October 18, 2010. Wonderland Park Raceway Tea Garden

Sarah Palin will present her new Disney makeover image at Disney World.

Sarah Palin is unofficially the chosen one.

You Chose Palin!
The Republican National Committee has decided for all Republicans that the party nominee will be Sarah Palin. The official Republican Party website now glamorously promotes Sarah Palin as a superstar performer on a victory tour after winning something somewhere. Her upcoming two sold out appearances are in Anaheim CA and Orlando FL, the homes of Disneyland and Disney World.
October 1, 2010. RNC Special Insider Edition