Romney Popularity Plummets Out Of Orbit! Exiled landslide loser may join asteroid belt. Mitt Romney's popularity numbers have continued to fall like lead bricks since his humiliating defeat on election day. November 28, 2012. Astral Ejection News

No Rice! Methuselah McCain not nice about rejecting Rice twice. Senator Methuselah McCain found new vigor and rage after talking to reporters about how he and his new Benghazi baby don't like Rice and then they both pouted for hours. November 26, 2012. Food n' Politics

House Republicans Gangnam Style! Can they get their act together in time? Celebrity psychologists agree group dance lessons are a great way to get a divided and partisan House to see the need to work together. November 21, 2012. Capital Dance Digest

20 Year-Old Pledge Has Dribbling Nozzle! The shine has worn off bully Grover Norquist. Republicans need to forget about Norquist's obsolete blackmail pledge and cooperate to help save the economy. November 20, 2012. Extortionist Almanac

Did Grover Go Power Mad? Investigation of Grover takes bizarre turn in Elmo scandal! Some Republicans abandon no tax pledge after a sticky fluid was found on pledge documents in Norquist's private vault. November 19, 2012. National Scandal Insider

Elmo Says Grover Involved! Grover implicated in widening investigation of Elmo scandal. Republicans need to immediately send Grover Norquist into exile as far away as they sent Mitt Romney. November 18, 2012. National Scandal Insider

Petraeus You Slay Us! Obsessed America wants 12 part mini-series on cable tv and smartphone. The pilot episode "Lap Dance In Langley" is already in pre-production and will shoot at an undisclosed location. November 16, 2012. Scandal Nation TV News

Twin Vixens In Sexy Spy Thriller! Four star general succumbs to stereo siren songs.

Sexy Author Put General On G Spot! Extramarital sexual affair and classified pillow talk with sexy Petraeus biographer ruins CIA director's career. It's the biggest scandal going and news types are thankful for something to report now that the election has passed. The mistress, Paula Broadwell, got her hooks into the General, jumped his bones for almost a year and then went jealous and possessive with harassing emails to another woman who came near her boy toy CIA director. The humiliated sixty year-old CIA director has resigned in disgrace and gone home where he has been taking extreme unfriendly fire from an irate, bitter and betrayed Mrs.Petraeus. The former general has reportedly been demoted and assigned living quarters in a small spare bedroom and indefinite KP and dog crap cleanup duty. November 12, 2012. Scandal Supermarket News

Time To Go To Work! Election playtime is over. President Obama was reelected to continue putting Americans back to work. Private sector job growth has been strong for over two years and booming in some sectors. However, over one million public sector jobs like teachers, nurses, firefighters, park rangers, emergency medical personnel and others have been eliminated because of extreme budget pressure since the financial meltdown of 2008. Now is the time to put everybody back to work and to create new demand that will create new jobs and expand the middle class and improve the quality of life in America. President Obama is already back on the job right now. Daily Racing Rag

Republican Turkeys Got The Bird! Voters sent message they want more than white meat. The GOP all-white meat turkey menu will remain mostly unchanged for now. It's GOP tradition not to change. November 16, 2012. White Meat Minority Report

Youngest Elephant Complains About Old Bulls! They're chasing calfs from the herd. Governor Bobby Jindal of Louisiana said too much bullshit is coming out the old bulls like John McCain and Rush Limbaugh. November 15, 2012. Animal Politics

Republicans Gather Over Carcass! Voters sent message they want more than white meat. Despite their landslide defeat the GOP core of intellectuals remains intact in a single family of white folks. November 15, 2012. White Meat Minority Report

Rupert Murdoch Is Number One! Most destructive naturalized citizen in U.S. history! Even worse than Benedict Arnold who originally was an American Revolutionary war hero, mega billionaire Rupert Murdoch is an Australian born traitor who has severely damaged the quality of life for hundreds of millions of Americans and been the catalyst for thousands of acts of violence and possibly billions of acts of rudeness, racism and bullying. Growing up in racist Australia, Rupert Murdoch, 82, ABSOLUTELY IS NOT A PRODUCT OF AMERICAN VALUES but this despicable human being has forced his mean spirited, sleazy, nasty, selfish, belligerent, dishonest, racist, greedy, arrogant, petty, vindictive, ignorant temperament on the entire American public. His newspaper editorial boards from the Wall Street Journal on down write opinions solely for the amusement of their employer, Rupert Murdoch. Rupert Murdoch owns far more local television stations than anybody else and ALL of those local newscasters create opinionated news reporting solely for the amusement of their employer, Rupert Murdoch. FOX cable news is the property of Rupert Murdoch and every single person associated with their deliberate creation of conflict, rudeness, racism and vicious hatred was or still is employed for the sole purpose of amusing Rupert Murdoch. The man is evil. His empire is evil. His employees are evil. Rupert Murdoch is without doubt the biggest traitor in United States history. However, don't expect to see this story on television as he also owns the History Channel where history is currently being rewritten solely for the amusement of Rupert Murdoch. November 5, 2012. America's Biggest Villains

Boehner The Billionaire's Butler! Says screw the voters, he works for the big boys.

Boehner says his number one priority is blocking tax hikes on billionaires like the Koch brothers. The Koch Brothers invested $400 million in support of Republicans losing effort to defeat President Obama and completely paid for John Boehner's reelection. Despite President Obama's huge election victory Boehner dismisses any chance of compromise concerning a tax hike on the billionaire brothers. Boehner says that's why he was paid to be reelected and voters don't pay his bills and bar tab but the Koch brothers do. November 10, 2012. Congressional Whiskey Bar

Forward! The coming presidential election offers an easy choice. America as a democracy with a President of the people and for the people... OR ...America as a plutocracy ruled by billionaires who are catered to by Republican Koch-sucking stooges in Congress and a "Rubberstamp Romney" in the White House. We endorse the re-election of President Obama and the ouster of every Republican member of Congress. Daily Racing Rag

Disaster Gives Tagg's Career A Boost! Paul Ryan and Tagg Romney to tour Sandy disaster areas for awesome photos ops! Paul Ryan's photographers have gotten great footage of Ryan with his broom pretending to help clean up storm damage. The area behind the Romney compound had previously been cleaned up but that was where the director wanted to shoot because of good lighting. The big news for Tagg was that he has booked performances at several benefit concerts to be held in Republican leaning counties that sustained storm or flood damage. Tagg was delighted and says this is just the break his singing career needed and finally he can now be accepted for his true talent. Tagg says he's inspired by his Dad who also has been striving for superstar status his entire life. November 1, 2012. FOX Music & Boobs News

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Al-Awlaki's Final Seconds On Tape! Hellfire missile finds American-born terrorist in Yemen desert. Anwar al-Awlaki was humming along in his just-washed 1988 Mercedes Benz on the main highway crossing the hot Yemeni desert in the Al Jawf region and talking jihad with Samir Kahn, his webmaster and only other known American-born al-Qaeda terrorist, and then... Byaaaaang! He's soot. President Obama announced the development adding we've run out of influential American-born radical al-Qaeda terrorists to vaporize. October 6, 2011. Yemen Blockbuster Video.

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