|DAILY RACING RAG EXCLUSIVE! If everybody else had these stories they wouldn't be exclusive.|
| Mitt Not Missing! |
Mitt Romney is scheduled to appear on Jay Leno's Tonight Show because people thought Mitt was missing, out of the country, retired or locked in a cone of silence. Mitt Romney was not lost but was missing the main stream media attention he wasn't getting because of the exploits of Sarah Palin. Palin gets far more attention than any other presidential candidate and Romney is worried people will forget he is supposed to be the frontrunner for the GOP nomination. Mitt doesn't want to waste time tweeting stupid Twitter messages but may be forced to start. Romney will be increasing his TV appearances in an attempt to keep up with the avalanche of Palin news, nonsense and the tweet musings of her infatuated masses.
November 30, 2010. Romney Media Magazine
| Mike Pence Says Flat Abs And Flat Tax Both Good! |
Pence preaches survival of the fittest in Detroit. To an audience of people whose jobs were saved by government bailouts of the auto industry Republican Mike Pence outed his six-pack plan for a flat tax that would hurt poor people so much they'd forget about government assistance and move to refugee camps on Indian reservations. The flat tax is called flat because it squeezes people at the bottom so hard that homeless people become footpaths. Pence said Detroit had already created a solution to the homeless problem called the flatbed truck. Pence also called for a flat earth climate change denial policy and a flat line healthcare elimination plan that would purge flat people from benefit roles.
November 29, 2010. Detroit Flat Festival
| Miller Sues, Says It's Not Time!|
Miller's time has run out but he refuses to concede defeat in Alaska Senate race. Palin and Tea Party favorite Republican Joe Miller finished behind Lisa Murkowski by over 10,000 votes and is only contesting 8,000 votes but has filed a state lawsuit to stop the election from being certified with Murkowski as the winner. Miller is more antisocial than libertarian and has consistently used a different form of arithmetic throughout his losing campaign. He goes against the grain in all matters and the Palin protege could have been the worst U.S. Senator in history. He may already be the worst loser in Alaska history as voters called for an end to Miller time. Those media spotlights were intoxicating and Miller had a few too many.
November 27, 2010. Alaska State Courthouse
| Ron Paul's Revolution Is Alive! |
The election of Rand Paul as Kentucky's Senator, suggests the ideology of Ron Paul may become mainstream. If a 2012 Ron Paul presidential campaign catches fire and you add the Tea Party superstar Rand Paul it becomes a father and son tag team ticket that might be unstoppable. Independents might register Republican to vote for a family instead of a family values slogan. As a huge underdog Ron Paul ran much better in 2008 than he gets credit for and he almost stopped the doomed McCain nomination. If the great spirit of his former national campaign operation were to rise to life from the ashes with the powerful energy directed by the warrior son the great powwow in the sky will be seen by all on the face of the clouds.
November 26, 2010. Paul Family Indian Guides
| Sarah Palin Makes Barbara Bush's Blue Blood Boil|
Palin pushed back after Barbara Bush told Larry King she hopes Palin stays in Alaska. Palin is Twitter-armed, locked and loaded so she didn't hesitate to fire back at the 89 year-old wife of one President and mother of another. Palin blasted GOP blue bloods who like to dictate their choice of nominees instead of listening to the people. Palin herself was plucked from obscurity by GOP blue bloods in the 2008 presidential campaign just over two years ago and has since been the chosen one for corporate blue bloods who dictate her book tour and media manipulation whirlwind. Barbara Bush resents Palin because by birthright it is son Jeb's turn to be President.
November 25, 2010. Kennebunkport Palace
| Huckabee Volunteer Training Video Out|
His favorite joke about deflating Democrat's tires on election day is now an instructional video. Humor-challenged GOP volunteers took Mike Huckabee seriously because Huckabee's usual jokes, despite good effort, aren't professional-grade zingers and he only pays for new jokes by Jeff Foxworthy when his speeches are televised. Huckabee's folksy common sense nonsense is meant to reassure couch potato Americans that regular Joe Blow undereducated flag-wavin' redneck heehaws can be President too. Chuck Norris loves the Huckabee style but others are left feeling flat.
November 24, 2010. FOX Backstage Blogger
| Has Rupert Murdoch Conquered America? |
With at least three employees running for President it's all up to Rupert Murdoch. Sarah Palin has a big money contract as a paid contributor for Murdoch's FOX news. Mike Huckabee hosts a talk show on FOX cable and Newt Gingrich is also a paid contributor. Of the top four contenders for the Republican Presidential nomination only Mitt Romney is not currently employed by Rupert Murdoch. When jokingly asked about Mitt being the black sheep, OMG Palin said she couldn't care less LOL. November 23, 2010 . FOX Wasilla Wrestlin Arena Dressin Room
| Pawlenty Promises Jobs For Florida! |
Tim Pawlenty wants to open a margarita bar with Kenny Chesney music. Pawlenty is a probable candidate for the 2012 GOP nomination with a cool guy image who promotes laid back economic prosperity. A few new waitress and bartender jobs could be created and Tim hopes his idea will impress Florida kingmaker Jeb Bush.
November 22, 2010. Timmy's Surf Shack
| Trump Towers |
over others at building towers and creating jobs. He's thinking about 2012. Possible Republican candidate Donald Trump has charisma and already is success personified but "The Donald" is so unimpressed with Sarah Palin and the other GOP candidates that he is considering a 2012 Presidential run. Trump says that in business America is getting it's butt beaten badly by cheating Chinese.
November 20, 2010. Trump Trumpeter
| Bobby Jindal Will NOT Run For President in 2012!|
"NO ifs, ands, buts or caveats". He will run for re-election as Louisiana's Governor's in 2011. At only 39 years old Bobby Jindal would be the youngest Presidential candidate by ten years so it makes sense for him to wait until he's gained more experience and political allies before attempting a national campaign. Since Jindal will also be busy with his reelection campaign he feels it would be impractical to pursue a Presidential run this time around. He says he still has much to accomplish after accomplishing little in Louisiana.
November 19, 2010. Baton Rouge Cajun
|A THRILLA N' WASILLA!|
UPDATE! MURKOWSKI PACKED EFFECTIVE WRITE HOOK IN WRITE-IN SENATE VICTORY!
Lisa Murkowski attacked Sarah Palin as not worthy of top ranking. Murkowski told CBS she doesn't think Sarah Palin has the leadership qualities or intellectual curiosity to be President. When asked about Murkowski's comments, OMG Palin said she couldn't care less LOL. November 18, 2010 . Wasilla Wrestlin Arena
| Men See Sarah Palin Differently Than Women Do! Psychologist studies show significant differences between men and women's perceptions of Sarah Palin. Men tend to see Sarah Palin more favorably than women do and give her a higher positive favorability rating overall. Men also see Sarah Palin as much more physically attractive than women do.|
November 17, 2010. Discount Psyche Magazine
| Stampede Over Earmarks! |
Big deficit increases pressure to round up votes and rein in out of control earmark spending. Tea Party inspired fiscal conservative politicians have pledged not to seek earmarks in an attempt to cow other members of the Congressional herd into ending the beefless pork barrel practice.
November 16, 2010. Capitol Hill Washington
| Bush Think Tank Ready To Roll! |
Bush Think Tank to debut as mobile unit until completion of building. Former President Bush is pleased the mobile think tank will tour West Texas because some real smart folks live where Bush started his political career. Groundbreaking for the permanent building to house the George W. Bush Library and Think Tank is tomorrow.
November 15, 2010. SMU Tank Service Dept.
| DeMint Wants Blue Steele Ejection! |
Steele faces teabagging as chairman of RNC. Senator Jim DeMint called for replacing RNC leader Steele with a Tea Party favorite. Steele's term as RNC chairman has been controversial because of a Republican fundraiser at a bondage strip club, a luxury Island conference to discuss RNC deficit spending and several failed minority voter outreach programs.
November 13, 2010. DeMint Mint Market SC
|More Flags Less Fun! G-20 Leaders Not Happy Campers. Obama arrived in South Korea to meet the leaders of the world's largest economies at this year's G-20 summit. Much concern was aimed at Obama about attempts to lower the value of the dollar in order to increase demand for U.S. exports. It requires all the diplomatic footwork a Dancing Barry can finesse to negotiate trade agreements that produce American jobs. Most countries prefer to export to the U.S. but limit imports and they don't really want to change. November 12, 2010 . Cirques Du Seoul Arena G-20 Summit|
| Chris Christie Puts In A Big Run! |
Cross country barnstorming for GOP candidates puts wind to Christie's presidential aspirations. New Jersey Governor Chris Christie was out on the track right up to election day in a series of sprint works for grateful candidates and now Christie is picking up notice in national GOP polls for 2012. Governor Christie has established a reputation for drastic budget cuts to New Jersey government services which have made him very popular in many states other than New Jersey. Most voters want to see drastic budget cuts for everybody but themselves. New Jersey residents aren't happy about being the people suffering the cuts in services and think you-gotta-be-kidding-me when asked about Christie for President but out-of-state Tea Party groups just love the cutting and slashing and they love Chris Christie too, at least for the time being.
November 11, 2010. Monmouth Raceway GOP Inner Track
|Bush Book Booed!|
Former German leader says Bush is lying. Reviewers were universally harsh. "Fiction with a capital F", "utterly false" and "out and out lies" were some reactions to Bush's attempt to rewrite history. Publishers assumed releasing the book one week after a GOP victory would generate sales and help airbrush Bush's presidential legacy but critics are bashing Dubya's unbelievable self-serving load.
November 10, 2010. Discount History Review
| Will Obama Remember Amnesians? |
Obama visits Indonesia today where, as a child, he was an American living in Indonesia. Indonesians call several generations of American-Indonesians living in Indonesia "the forgotten ones" or Amnesians. Many Amnesian children were fathered by American men on vacation and abandoned by their Indonesian mothers. Housekeepers working at luxury tourist hotels favored by Americans have found so many abandoned Amnesian newborns in laundry carts that they formed a charitable network to help care for the forgotten children. Amnesians live without official Indonesian citizenship similar to the indigenous tribespeople living in remote areas of Indonesia except that Amnesians live in mostly urban areas. Barack Obama lived with his American mother in Indonesia for four years. It is not known if Obama recalls or will meet with any of his Amnesian childhood playmates.
November 9, 2010. Jakarta Amnesian Charitable Society
| Obama's Inspirational Gandhi Moment! |
President Obama was visiting the Mumbai memorial of Mahatma Gandhi when a soft glowing light the size of a man in a robe appeared to be hovering above the ground near Obama. Obama acted as if he clearly felt a presence and observers said he appeared to be having a conversation with someone. The President later said he was very moved by the experience and will honor Gandhi's spirit and words by seeking to do all that is possible to achieve the social justice that Gandhi sought in his lifetime. "I am mindful that I might not be standing before you today, as president of the United States, had it not been for Gandhi and the message he shared and inspired with America and the world," the president said. Obama also said he was considering shaving his head but wasn't giving up his tailored business suits for a bundle of bedsheets. The President and First Lady Michelle will conclude their highly celebrated visit to India and move on to Indonesia, Korea and Japan before returning home.
November 8, 2010. Mumbai GandhiLand
| Obama Feels The Love In India! |
President visits India to sell fighter jets and Harley-Davidson motorcycles. Billions of dollars in trade agreements were signed for the purpose of selling more U.S. weapons to India's military and more consumer goods to India's rising middle class. The agreement is expected to create at least 53,000 new jobs in America. Demand for U.S. products is increasing because India consumers have more purchasing power than ever before and their economy is growing as fast as China's. If America is to remain strong and prosperous trade and business agreements are mandatory. Fortunately, President Obama is extremely popular in India with a 70% approval rating and even considered a hero to hundreds of millions of the populace. If the President needed an ego boost after a crushing mid-term election he came to exactly the right place.
November 6, 2010. Mumbai India Motorcycle Rally
| Bush Book Blank On Frank Feud!|
Which came first?... Barney, the ball-licking pet dog of President Bush or George, the jogging pet pig owned by Representative Barney Frank. The feud raged for years but was ignored due to media coverage of the Bush era wars and natural disasters. One version of the history of the feud claims that President Bush would call his dog, Barney, a "shaggy little faggot" whenever Barney crapped on the White House carpet. So when Bush installed a jogging track on the White House grounds openly gay Barney Frank brought a pig in a jogging suit named George. The fued continued until while Frank was away on Congressional duties his partner hired an Asian maid. The pig disappeared a few days later.
November 5, 2010. Jimmy Dean History Of Pork Museum
| $250 Million To Be Mitt's Running Mate! |
Before Meg lost the California race for Governor and $140 million of her own money, Meg dreamed of a White House run with her mentor. Mitt is more than a hero to Meg and she'd do anything for the man she calls her mentor and main man. She practically swoons when he's in the room and he has a noticeable effect on her similar to Bieber fever. One psychobabble body language quack suggested Meg has a schoolgirl crush on Mitt and the $250 million dollar offer would be within the realm of possibility for a lovestruck billionaire.
November 4, 2010. Arizona's Cialis Hills Hideaway Resort
| Lil' Brown Bush Lauds Book Of Jeb! |
Florida Senate victory by Marco Rubio, disciple of Jeb Bush, may signal Americans ready for third reich of Bush family Presidents preceding establishment of New World Order. The destiny of Illuminati bloodlines to rule the world remains on it's predictably straight line fast track with a win by Marco Rubio, the protege of former Florida Governor Jeb Bush a.k.a. "the smart Bush" who endorsed Marco Rubio 19 months before yesterday's election victory. According to plan, after the world collapses into an Apocalyptic chaos from solar flares, earthquakes, volcanoes, tsunamis and more, the New World Order, as outlined in 1984 by Father George H. W. Bush, Jeb Bush will emerge from the ashes as a leading candidate for Chief World Administrator of the New World Order.
November 3, 2010. Florida GOP Victory Rally
| Boehner Eager To Fill Pelosi Shoes! Boehner will be Speaker after GOP takeover. Boehner has been in Washington D.C. for a long time and knows the game well. After a quick makeover Boehner will become the most powerful member of the House of Representatives.|
November 2, 2010. Federal Fashions
| OBAMA 6-5
| BARBOUR 40-1
| BLOOMBERG 50-1
| CHRISTIE 30-1
| DANIELS 60-1
OTHER GOP 75-1
| DEMINT 50-1
OTHER DEMS 50-1
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