| Reaching Out For Conservative Minorities! FOX spins desperately to help GOP find any non-white support.
The new FOX LATINO news spin channel has tanked in the ratings but FOX executive Lily Whiteface said it may be just a language problem. May 31, 2013. News Ratings News (NRN)
|Republican Ruined By Fetid Fruit! Once bountiful support now shriveled and rotten. Representative Michelle Bachman has announced she will not seek re-election for any-reason-will-do as she has become incredibly unpopular in her home district. May 30, 2013. Fruit Basket News Network (FBNN)|
|Ruffled Feathers Leads To Hilarious New Series! McCain and Cruz will make you laugh! It's not like they ruin America in the new series as producers want to keep it funny and besides that's their regular day job. May 24, 2013. PreCog TV Preview|
|Oklahoma! GOP Senators voted against disaster relief for victims of Sandy but now want money! James Inhofe and Tom Coburn set a new record for flagrant foul hypocrisy but Oklahoma tornado victims still deserve federal help despite sending bad actors to the U.S. Senate. May 23, 2013. Political Theatre Review|
|Immigration Bill Blows Out Of Senate Committee! Gardeners expecting raises! After a noisy protest by leaf blower operators in support of immigration reform the bipartisan legislation passed and now moves to the Senate floor where it will likely face a filibuster by Republican Senators. May 22, 2013. Garden Checklist|
|American Workforce Reacts To Sexless Scandals! Survey says it's no scandal without sex. A XEST.NET News unscientific poll found only one person who believed a scandal could be a scandal without sex and that person lived without internet access. READ MORE May 20, 2013. XEST.NET News|
|Judge Jindal Prescribes Prison! Calls for imprisonin' somebody at IRS. Now y'all know we don't have the facts but if we did have the facts then I propose prison sentences for those who perpetrated somethin'. Just to be certain Judge Jindal said it twice the normal twice he says everythin'. May 19, 2013. Louisiana Lawn Dawdle News|
|Young Libertarian King Receives Counsel! Campaign war strategy progresses. The young king's father may posess the real power behind the Iron Throne. His advice is essential to realizing the family's lifelong quest for power over all the many kingdoms of the realm. May 14, 2013. Westeros Raven Reporter|
|Rick Perry Has Preventative Double Lobotomy! Texas Governor returns to work the following day. When asked if he didn't think he was returning to the job too soon after his operation Perry deadpanned "What operation?" May 14, 2013. Texas Journal of Healthlessness|
|Young Heir To Throne Declares War! Campaign begins for 2016. In a malicious attack on the integrity of his presumed main rival the young Libertarian king launched the inevitable war for the Iron Throne and governance over all the many kingdoms of the realm. May 13, 2013. Westeros Raven Reporter|
|Harry Reid Calls Out Schoolyard Bully! Ted Cruz tries to takeover Senate locker room. The very junior Senator from Texas has been in town only a few months but has pissed off everybody with his in-your-face insults, taunting, mocking and aggressive bullying behavior like banging heads into lockers. A schoolyard rumble may turn into a full scale prison yard riot and backstabbing if this foreign-born Texas carpetbagger isn't sent to detention soon. May 11, 2013. Western Daily News|
|New Sponsor Makes Huge Ad Buy On FOX Channels! People still aching for unfounded conspiracy drama. Many months have passed. An official investigation was conducted. An explicit list of of security recommendations was presented. Federal legislation passed to provide funding. The security recommendations have all been implemented. End of story? Not according to many in the fast growing conspiracy industrial complex. May 10, 2013. New Conspiracy Product News (NCPN)|
|$200K NRA Open Carry Derby Marred By Accidental Discharge! Horse and jockey killed by gunfire in incident at 3/8 pole. It can be rough going on the backstretch so jockeys are allowed to carry semi-automatic handguns with extended round clips in the $200K NRA Derby at West Texas Downs Raceway. A stewards inquiry determined the shooting was accidental and there was no change in the order of finish. May 8, 2013. Western Daily News|
|NEW! Palin Launches Line Of Assclown Jeans! As seen on TV! Sarah Palin says Assclown Jeans are for pit bull hockey moms who work their asses off and are upset at those assclown Washington D.C. politicians. Palin also says Assclown Jeans send that mad-as-hell message where it will get noticed... on your big ass! Assclown Jeans come with a stitched-in pistol strap inside the waistband for concealed handgun carriers. May 2, 2013. Wasilla Fashionista|
|Ohio Man Gets Caught Up In Game! Bar owner squanders life savings of employees to win giant stuffed banana. Archie Assclown said he was trying to win an entertainment system for his bar at the Washington D.C. carnival when things got out of control. May 1, 2013. DC Banana Republican|
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|Romney Popularity Plummets Out Of Orbit! Exiled landslide loser may join asteroid belt. Mitt Romney's popularity numbers have continued to fall like lead bricks since his humiliating defeat on election day. November 28, 2012. Astral Ejection News|
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|Al-Awlaki's Final Seconds On Tape!|
Hellfire missile finds American-born terrorist in Yemen desert.
Anwar al-Awlaki was humming along in his just-washed 1988 Mercedes Benz on the main highway crossing the hot Yemeni desert in the Al Jawf region and talking jihad with Samir Kahn, his webmaster and only other known American-born al-Qaeda terrorist, and then...Byaaaaang! He's soot. President Obama announced the development adding we've run out of influential American-born radical al-Qaeda terrorists to vaporize.
October 6, 2011. Yemen Blockbuster Video.