2016 PRESIDENTIAL DERBY
Daily Racing RagThe Daily Racing Rag
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ANCHOR BABY Baby Marco's parents risked their lives to flee Cuba and find minimum wage service industry jobs in Miami. They didn't need legal papers but only had to reach the beach in South Florida and once anchor baby Marco was born the parents decided to become U.S. citizens and train their son for a life of serving wealthy people.
ANCHOR BABY
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THE PROMISE starring Bernie Sanders Based on a true story. Expert political scientists were absolutely puzzled by the overwhelming popularity of a seventy-four year old with the 18-29 year-old demographic. The secret is they were all raised on Sesame Street and Bernie was the beloved grouchy old man puppet character on the show.
THE PROMISE
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LUCK BE A LADY TONIGHT Lady Luck has always made her home in Vegas but when her soulmate and sister from another mother Hillary comes to town it's a whirlwind rainbow of song and dance and those long-legged ladies that aren't wearing pants. She's the hit of Strip for two solid weeks with superstar smiles and red rosy cheeks.
LUCK BE A LADY TONIGHT
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MESSAGE TO THE POPE Believe me. Jesus respects me now. That I can tell you. Donald Trump emotes forth forcefully as Pontius Pilate in an impassioned and imperious soliloquy aimed at both himself and any "Papa" or Lord or otherwise Father figure of Jesus that might, given the circumstances, be eavesdropping.
MESSAGE TO THE POPE
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SWEET CAROLINE Nikki Haley and Marco Rubio star in this new telenovela style series. As teenagers in the 1980's they first meet on summer vacation at the Carolina shore where their very ethnic families vacation annually. Despite being surrounded by an ocean of cultural differences when they are together they feel 100% American.
SWEET CAROLINE
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BLUEBERRY SKY Bernie leaves behind earthbound butterflies and zebras and downcast moonbeams to soar high above the suffocating ceiling of clouds and kiss the sky in his newest psychedelic masterwork. Art is Art. Music is Music. Bernie is Bernie. Is this 1970 or 2070? It doesn't matter in a moment (or a month) above the blueberry sky.
BLUEBERRY SKY
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THE MATANZAS CANDIDATE In this well crafted political thriller Marco Rubio convincingly plays Major Marco the brainwashed son of a Cuban family who is left behind when they flee to America. Eva Mendes plays the Queen of Diamonds and trigger mechanism causing Marco to become an unwitting assassin for an expatriate conspiracy.
THE MATANZAS CANDIDATE
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the new BEN CARSON CHANNEL presents DOCTOR WHA Ben Carson has parlayed his fame into producing directing and acting the lead role of a spin-off series from the long-running and popular BBC sci-fi series DOCTOR WHO. DOCTOR WHA assumes the predictable evil twin plot arc and disgusted with humans he orders an attack.
BEN CARSON CHANNEL presents DOCTOR WHA
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LEGISLATION AND NOMINATION CONSTIPATION Mitch McConstipation joins the cast of a popular television commercial from the 2016 Super Bowl. His theme of inability to pass legislation or process judicial nominations despite his position as majority leader fits in nicely ad-wise with the ubiquitous constipated digestive tract guy.
LEGISLATION AND NOMINATION CONSTIPATION
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GHOST MAKER After stealing the Presidential election with the help of armed thugs and motorcycle gangs President Trump starts carrying chains and wearing spiked leather jackets. Later when he savagely beats a visiting Russian President Putin to death with his chain during a violent argument a worldwide nuclear conflagration erupts.
GHOST MAKER
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MARCO ROBO - ROBOT DANCER At his first high school dance Marco is awkward and dances so stiffly that he is teased and called a Frakenstein robot but from the moment he sees Michael Jackson do the robot dance an inspired Marco commits himself to becoming the best robot dancer South Miami High School has ever seen.
MARCO ROBO - ROBOT DANCER
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HAIR REVOLUTION with Bernie Sanders After discovering his incredible fundraising ability in the field of politics Bernie learns to love capitalism like a Rockefeller and launches a nationwide hair replacement franchise enterprise fueled by Bernie's energetic television commercials featuring his zany Donald Trump impersonations.
HAIR REVOLUTION  with Bernie Sanders
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ESCAPE FROM DEVILS ISLAND TV Guido says "Three Stooges" meet "Hogan's Heroes" in a new comedy series that is funny with or without a laugh track. Cliven and his two boys have ended up in a federal prison and hilariously plot their escape but their bungling attempts seem to assure they'll remain locked up for several TV seasons.
ESCAPE FROM DEVILS ISLAND
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GATOR HUNT This behind the scenes look focuses on the exclusive Myrtle Beach Country Club and their annual luxury luggage sale and gator hunt. Hunters first stake out their positions with a collector's choice of gator rifles before the gator handlers release the gators in a mad scramble in the swamp. A luxury gator luggage sale is held later.
GATOR HUNT
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LE TRIOMPHE DE TRUMP In 1754 the New Hampshire Militia was formed for service with the British Army in North America for use in the French and Indian Wars of the next eight years. Each time the French retreat an egocentric commander played by Trump develops a larger Napoleonic complex with delusions of evermore personal glory.
LE TRIOMPHE DE TRUMP
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BERNIE BROS PRESENTS - DEMOCRATIC TITANIC 2016 At 74 years old the Bernie Bros buy a rusty ferry boat in Portsmouth after a big score on European football bets and set course for the Potomac River. Despite having never sailed the Atlantic and the vessel not being seaworthy the Bernie Bros are certain their luck will hold up.
BERNIE BROS PRESENTS - DEMOCRATIC TITANIC 2016
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PROGRESS FOR LESS starring HILLARY CLINTON While Flo is off on a well deserved vacation Hillary volunteers to staff the main reception desk at a huge progressive advocacy organization. Using the Progressive price comparison tool Hillary makes a convincing case for economical change but despite her best efforts sales remain flat.
PROGRESS FOR LESS starring HILLARY CLINTON
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BERNBALL - THE BEST OF BURLINGTON FOOTBALL Bernie moves from Brooklyn to Burlington with a mission to promote the metric system, democratic socialism and European football. Football catches on with the locals and Bernie leads Burlington on to become a powerhouse in the New England European Senior Football League.
BERNBALL - THE BEST OF BURLINGTON FOOTBALL
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CROSSING THE RUBIOCON A rising political star played robot-like by Mario Rubio cancels his easy re-election bid and lays his whole future on the line as he sets out on a risky adventure in his new Jeep to go far beyond his comfort zone to a place where there is no coming back only to immediately make a wrong turn and get lost.
CROSSING THE RUBIOCON
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LIVE FREE OR DIE - THE BATTLE OF NEW HAMPSHIRE In this new made-for-TV fictional drama the New Hampshire election contest of 1798 included candidates from the polar extremes of wealth, political thought and social standing back in the day. The two leading candidates faced the end of their careers with anything less than victory.
LIVE FREE OR DIE - THE BATTLE OF NEW HAMPSHIRE
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CRIPPLED AMERICA
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TROLL STORY
Marijuana Users Win Elections!
Oregon, Alaska and Washington D.C. join the states of Washington and Colorado.
The big winners are marijuana users in Oregon and Alaska where voters approved the legalization of recreational marijuana. The states of Washington and Colorado who legalized recreational marijuana in 2012. In Oregon adults will now be able to legally possess up to 8 ounces of marijuana in their homes and up to one ounce in public. Similar to Colorado new revenue raised from sales and marijuana taxes for the State of Oregon could be many millions of dollars per year in addition to reduced law enforcement costs. In Alaska adults will be able possess up to one ounce of marijuana and grow three mature plants.
November 6, 2014. Online News Casino
Oregon Legalizes Marijuana
Al-Awlaki's Final Seconds On Tape!
Hellfire missile finds American-born terrorist in Yemen desert.

Anwar al-Awlaki was humming along in his just-washed 1988 Mercedes Benz on the main highway crossing the hot Yemeni desert in the Al Jawf region and talking jihad with Samir Kahn, his webmaster and only other known American-born al-Qaeda terrorist, and then...Byaaaaang! He's soot. President Obama announced the development adding we've run out of influential American-born radical al-Qaeda terrorists to vaporize.
October 6, 2011. Yemen Blockbuster Video.
Anwar al-Awlaki's Final Seconds
TRUMPERY DEFINITION