DailyRacingRag.com - February 2012

Santorum Rallies Slobs Against Snobs! Says large families of high school dropouts insulted by thought that college would have been helpful. Santorum is playing the fat family card, the redneck white trash card, the blue collar envy card, and the indignant Catholic card in a bizarre rule-breaking strategy to beat Michigan born Mitt Romney in Michigan. The Santorum campaign is almost fearless as they soar over the top with outrageous crazy talk and underdog tactics trying to not only win Michigan but bleed the once flush Romney campaign treasury dry. February 28, 2012. Sal's Hot Tub Blog

Commander n' Chef! Romney has been ordering chefs around ever since he dodged the Vietnam War to live in Paris with a chef and personal servant. Romney spent 30 months during the Vietnam war bicycling around France enjoying croissants and sleeping in a palatial Mormon-owned mansion in Paris with stained glass windows, chandeliers, an extensive art collection, a chef and a personal servant. It is unknown how many Mormons Mitt made but Mitt can now order fine food in perfect French while professing his great patriotism and love of the same American military he fled to France from in order to avoid military service. February 24, 2012. Le French Gourmet Gazetteer

Race Moves To Tea Party Paradise! A police state so nice Sarah Palin bought a hacienda.
The GOP debate comes to Arizona where you'll find white people who own guns and Latino prisoners who wear pink. Latinos are still called Mexicans even if they're native born Americans. In Arizona, politics are as simple as brown or white because simple sells tea in Tea Party paradise.
February 23, 2012. Assault Rifle Magazine

Tea Party Moses Sent Women Back! Dissenters accused real Moses of phony theology.
The tea-drinking al-Santorum sect thought Moses coddled women by not demanding absolute obedience 100% of the time. Tea Party Moses, as he was known, had heated confrontations for months in the desert wilderness with the real Moses until he finally led a small sect away and back in the direction of the Pharaoh. The women in the dissident sect tried their best to obey and please the al-Santorum men but in the scorching heat of the Egyptian sun it was impossible. When the group finally reached the Red Sea, Tea Party Moses sold the women into slavery and they were returned to the Pharaoh. The group then moved on and established an all-male community that eventually disappeared due to the lack of progeny. February 22, 2012. Bible Believe-it-or-Not

Over 50% Approval Obama Feels Good! Whoa-oa-oa! He knew that he would, now. He feels good! He knew that he would, now. So good, so good, he's got you.
The economy continues to improve and that makes the President feel nice! Like sugar and spice. Whoa-oa-oa! He feels nice, like sugar and spice. So nice, so nice, he's got you. As the hardest working man in Washington the President listens to the people and delivers what the majority of the people want to hear. Republicans have proven tone deaf and cater to the loudest loudmouths on their short list of big campaign contributors. The 1% of the 1% may hear their favorite tunes played in heavy rotation by GOP spinners but the majority of Americans prefer the President's playlist.
February 21, 2012. Dance N' D.C. News

Paul Positioned Well For 2016! He'll only be 80 years old.
The Ron Paul revolution may seem like it's in slow motion but to older Americans four years goes by like a long weekend for teenagers. Ron Paul has by far the youngest supporters of any Republican candidate. In fact, all the other Republicans have a serious problem with voters under 30 years of age. According to multiple polls President Obama may win that age group by as much as forty percentage points. But President Obama won't be running in 2016 which leaves the door open for Ron Paul to make another run at the White House.
February 20, 2012. Sun City Senior News

Sarah Palin Says "I'm Not Finished!"
Says she has a fire in her belly and is ready to go. Palin predicted a brokered convention and said she would be willing to help out Republicans by accepting their Presidential nomination without participating in a single primary or caucus. "It won't be the voters who decide the Republican nominee." Sarah said seriously and she should know. Palin is living proof that backroom deals and brokered arrangements mean more to the Republican power establishment than anything. To Sarah Palin the United States are united only in the sense that she can ignore all of the states and all of their voters and still come out smelling like a million bucks.
February 19, 2012. Arizona Moose Times

ORCHID ALERT - FEDERAL FASHION MARSHALL ISSUES HAIRDO DISASTER WARNING IN MASSACHUSETTS...
Boston, We've Got A Problem!
Federal Fashion Marshall issues hairdo disaster warning in Massachusetts
The FFM issued the Orchid Alert after hundreds of complaints. The issue of Elizabeth Warren's world's worst hairdo crossed the threshold of inequality and unfairness when photos revealed that even Scott Brown looks better than she does in her awful hair cut. Petitions with hundreds of signatures from licensed hair stylists all across Massachusetts volunteering their services for free have been delivered to the Warren campaign headquarters but so far the hairdo hasn't changed.
February 18, 2012. Federal Fashion Register

Palin preferred employment by Murdoch to a possible job as U.S. President!

Biggest U.S Story Happening In U.K. Godfather of American conservative media in serious hot water. Rupert Murdoch's employees continue to be arrested for corruption and phone hacking in an investigation that grows bigger every day. If the scandal crosses the pond, FOX NEWS may dilute it's anti-Obama, anti-government message. Murdoch's personal survival will require he snuggle up close to the status quo. He may even embrace Obama in the event of a landslide re-election victory. The closer the scandal comes to America, the bigger the danger to Murdoch personally and the more FOX NEWS will sound like it's turning Joe Biden Democrat. February 16, 2012. World Illuminati Report

Santorum On Contraception! Santorum says it's employer's right to deny coverage for birth control in employee health insurance plans.
Santorum says an interrogation by the employers about sexual activities when women request contraceptives is a good first step but he would prefer criminalization of contraception and mandatory education about eternal damnation and how God will send women to hell and their flesh will fry for eternity if they get pregnant outside the boundaries of a marriage sanctified by their church and God. Santorum says he would support an expanded Super Amendment to the U.S. Constitution outlawing abortion, gay marraige, contraception, Bible burning and criticism of Ronald Reagan.
February 15, 2012. My Santorum News

Virginia Republicans pass bill making morning-after pill murder!

Morning-After Kill
GOP makes pill murder!
A GOP super-majority in the Virginia House passed a law making the rights of people apply from the moment sperm and egg unite. Later, a 15 year-old high school student was shot dead by an undercover police officer while trying to ingest a morning-after pill in the girls bathroom. Police said the dead girl was in the act of committing murder under the new Virginia law and the undercover officer acted properly and prevented a murder from happening.
February 14, 2011. God Loves Virginia News

You Can't Make This Stuff Up! Look-alike protests "I had nothing to do with this!"
Who knew? Republicans have rallied around a candidate that sells nostalgia for an America that never existed. An imaginary perfect place where Rick's grandfather lived in peace and prosperity except for a great depression, a world war, raging hatred, racial prejudice, illiteracy, disease and other details. But never mind facts or truth or history or reality. Santorum doesn't believe in evolution, climate change, contraception or womens rights and neither do any of his home-schooled children.
February 10, 2012. My Santorum News

Gingrich Finds Support In Ohio!
Newt relative Sally Mander hosts fundraiser at Dave's Dive Inn bar in downtown Columbus. The news was bad for Gingrich after being humiliated like a spanked stepchild in the last four GOP primaries. And like a bad Adam Sandler movie Newt's kin came to town and she ain't pretty but she turned out to be just what Newt needed to get his mojo back. Soon after the fourth round of drinks Newt was spewing adverbs and rhetorical nonsense like nobody else can. A rowdy Sally Mander then busted open a new box of straws and held a straw vote which Newt won easily. Newt then gave a hilarious acceptance speech which was followed by raucous karaoke until 1:30 AM. Dave's Dive Inn is open for liquid breakfast at 6:00 AM.
February 9, 2012. Ohio After Dark

Santorum Ecstatic After Triple Penetration!
Rick makes swiss cheese out of Romney's nationwide campaign strategy. In a shocking turn of events Rick Santorum won all three states up for grabs on Tuesday. Romney and Gingrich had been in such a frothy lather attacking each other they didn't see Santorum sneaking up behind them. Santorum made a smart move pulling out early in Florida and now his enlarged win column includes Iowa, Missouri, Minnesota and Colorado. The quick thinking Santorum aide who found a giant foam hand with three fingers up just yesterday said he also found a five finger foam fister for use on Super Tuesday.
February 8, 2012. My Santorum News

Ron Paul Takes The High Road! The cause of liberty and personal freedom towers above the ego-fueled politics of destruction. Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich are all about Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich. They bend the ideas and values written into the Constitution anyway the wind is blowing so long as it's good for their campaigns of raw ambition and greed. Ron Paul may not win the Republican nomination but he will emerge from the contest with his integrity and he will still be promoting liberty, freedom and adherence to the Constitution. Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich will continue to say absolutely anything including lie after lie after lie in order to promote their personal grandiose ambitions but no matter who wins they are already coated with an indelible layer of slime. Participation in this year's Republican primaries has been far less than in 2008 reflecting voter revulsion at the two sleazeball frontrunners. February 6, 2012. Rocky Mountain High Times

Republican's election strategy goes to shit!

Emergency GOP Strategy Session!
Unemployment lowest since Obama took office!
Republican Congressional leaders held an emergency strategy session but were unable to develop any new coherent strategy or consensus after a chaotic discussion. Up until the latest jobs numbers came out, the GOP strategy was simple; Congressional obstructionism to everything President Obama proposes, spreading the message of pessimism and doom, discouraging businesses to hire or invest by creating artificial crisis after crisis in Congress and hoping that the slowly recovering economy tailspins into the toilet just in time for the 2012 elections in November. The possibility of a rapidly improving economy on election day has a stoogefest of GOP Congressional leaders plotting to increase their ongoing sabotage of the U.S. economy in order to win more seats and more power.
February 3, 2011. Congressional Stooge News

Romney Offers Hope For Gamblers
Romney says you're just one Megabucks jackpot (per year) from lowering your tax rate and joining his minimum tax bracket. Mitt Romney feels the pain of compulsive entrepreneurs and risk takers who never stop striving to game the system. He realizes what motivates them is the winner-take-all way the federal tax system works for the big fish and that includes Megabucks jackpot winners. Romney's federal tax rate for 2010 was 13.9% or less than the tax rate paid by dishwashers in the casino's four star restaurant. Mitt Romney banked an after tax take-home profit of $57,000.00 per day in 2010. Romney just won in Florida where many old folks play bingo but his message is golden in the gambling mecca of Nevada. Now old folks have another excuse to hang out in those fabulous casinos. February 2, 2012. Federal Tax Dodgest

Romney says you're just one jackpot from his tax bracket!

Romney Super PAC says we don't need no stinking policies!

Mitt Or Myth?
Romney Super PACs don't need no stinking policies!
Romney may be the only Republican candidate in history to have created thousands of jobs for Mexicans by closing U.S. factories and relocating the machinery to Mexico. American workers left unemployed were just collateral damage to Romney and Bain Capital but they won't be mentioned in Romney's new image-building Spanish language ad campaign. Mitt's latest makeover is targeted at Latino voters and is muy macho but his ads will lack any real reason for Latino voters to vote for him other than the ads being muy macho. The millionaires running Mitt's Super PACs aren't worried about Latino policies because they have already determined that if they run enough radio and television commercials they can convince any targeted group of people to vote against their own self-interest thereby making policies irrelevant.
February 1, 2011. Mitt's Makeover Monthly

Al-Awlaki's Final Seconds On Tape!
Hellfire missile finds American-born terrorist in Yemen desert. Anwar al-Awlaki was humming along in his just-washed 1988 Mercedes Benz on the main highway crossing the hot Yemeni desert in the Al Jawf region and talking jihad with Samir Kahn, his webmaster and only other known American-born al-Qaeda terrorist, and then... Byaaaaang! He's soot. President Obama announced the development adding we've run out of influential American-born radical al-Qaeda terrorists to vaporize.
October 6, 2011. Yemen Blockbuster Video.