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Daily Racing Rag Special Report BEN CARSON EXCLUSIVE! If everybody else had these stories they wouldn't be exclusive.
MAKE AMERICA 8 AGAIN His cousin was lucky. I saw the whole thing. Believe me I'm not gonna mess with that kid. Believe me. I put him in charge of the fourth grade. Okay? I put him in charge of the fourth grade. By the way I've received great credit for that. Just in case you missed it. Which is likely. I'm just saying. Hey. I'm just saying.
MAKE AMERICA 8 AGAIN
the new BEN CARSON CHANNEL presents DOCTOR WHA Ben Carson has parlayed his fame into producing directing and acting the lead role of a spin-off series from the long-running and popular BBC sci-fi series DOCTOR WHO. DOCTOR WHA assumes the predictable evil twin plot arc and disgusted with humans he orders an attack.
BEN CARSON CHANNEL presents DOCTOR WHA
THE RAT PACK IS BACK In it's 40th year this cabaret style production changes only because the cast of celebrity impersonators keeps changing. Remaining are an endless stream of tasteless racist jokes and all women are dumb broads. This nostalgia is a nightmare and this supposedly classy era now looks more assy than classy.
THE RAT PACK IS BACK
EMPIRE STROKES BACK After the wheels fell of his Presidential campaign and his books stopped selling a distraught Ben Carson turns to his best white friend Rupert Murdoch who rewards the man he calls a "real black" with a starring role in one of the many television shows Murdoch owns and airs on his many television stations.
EMPIRE STROKES BACK
BARKLASH A cocaine addicted restaurant owner facing bankruptcy erroneously blames his financial woes on Muslim refugees who recently moved into his lower Michigan neighborhood. He hires an unemployed alcoholic black man who lives in the alley by the diner's dumpster to intimidate harass and yell racist insults at Muslim customers.
BARKLASH
GOP SURVIVOR ISLAND 2016 Survivor Island for 2016 Republican candidates is the luxurious Lighthouse Bay Resort where "survival" conditions normally go for $2400 per night. Still after several days on the island paradise all the men begin to bond while Carly Fiorina somehow becomes less appealing with every bitter diatribe she spews.
GOP SURVIVOR ISLAND 2016
CARSON'S LITTLE PILLS Billed as an "Inspiring Story of Christ and Capitalism" TV Guido says even Jesus would pass on this stinker. A Bible-thumping capitalist politician has a vision and uses PAC millions to buy an established laxative brand. By raising the price per pill he funds a Bible-themed luxury yacht and Miami estate.
CARSON'S LITTLE PILLS especially formulate for Conservatives
FOREIGN POLICY TELEVISION After 45 years of foreign policy advice to the elite and government the original editorial board is now only two men and they're both over 85 years old. In a candid series of interviews they admit they're afraid to die because they've seen no sign of intelligence from any GOP foreign policymaker this century.
FOREIGN POLICY TELEVISION - discussion and interviews
LOVE BOAT TO FANTASY CUBA In what sounds like a pleasure cruise on the Love Boat quickly deteriorates into a low budget gripe session of supposed 80 year old Cuban born Americans complaining about something from 60 years ago interspersed with nostril hair close-ups and concerned reaction shots by Cruz, Carson and Rubio.
LOVE BOAT TO FANTASY CUBA
ABC ALL BEN CARSON WEEK Suddenly Ben Carson is popping up everywhere and seems to be cast in every new film and TV show coming out. It's like Shark Week only it's All Ben Carson week. He's making hay while the sun shines and just landed the another plum role opposite Nefertiti in NEFERTITI HIP HOP QUEEN OF THE NILE.
ALL BEN CARSON WEEK
NEFERTITI HIP HOP QUEEN OF THE NILE
MYTHMUSTERS 2016 PREVIEW
MINORITY REPORT 2 Tensions rise at CIA headquarters in Langley, Virginia when a majority of career officers see only an eight year old movie poster with Jet Li and Jackie Chan but identical twin PreCogs from the newly established Pre-Terror division, played well in a dual role by Ben Carson, see something far more ominous.
MINORITY REPORT 2
HAMMER TIME Ben Carson plays Hammer, a poor Detroit kid who develops a pathological aversion which makes him prone to violence including stabbing his friend and attacking his mother with a claw hammer. After an epiphany Hammer turns to music and dancing and scores a Billboard number one hit with "U Can't Touch This".
HAMMER TIME
DREAMS FROM MY FATHER Exhausted from being unable to sleep Benghur dozes off on duty just as the black pharaoh Piye passes his guard post. As punishment Benghur is banished to the stone quarries where he chisels a series of best-selling stone tablets and establishes a thriving skull drilling and mummification business.
DREAMS FROM MY FATHER
YOU HAVE A GRAIN Ben Carson displays all the skills of a master manipulator as he leads his flock to a new precipice and leap into the white light of blind faith. The followers of Wonderben believe the unbelievable as a testament of their devotion to the only proselytizer who softly leads them to both a stirring climax and a deep sleep.
YOU HAVE A GRAIN
TEARS OF A CLOWN Detroit born crooner Smokey Carson played nicely by Ben Carson misses out on the Motown success of crosstown rival Smokey Robinson but makes a nice career as a tribute artist after burying a hatchet in yet another Smokey from Upper Michigan who had angered the legendary Motown smooth soul singer.
TEARS OF A CLOWN
DON'T YOU WORRY 'BOUT A THING Award winner Ben Carson inhabits his character perfectly with his eyes-closed acting style that has brought him such fabulous reviews from minimalists and devotees of blind faith. His lip-synching is right on the mark but TV GUIDO says this made-for-TV film is just as good with your eyes closed.
DON'T YOU WORRY 'BOUT A THING
THE MENTALIST A new Netflix series about the mind traveling adventures of Doctor Benghazi Carson played by Ben Carson. The Doctor, an inner space and time-travelling humanoid alien explores humanoids and their inner spaces throughout the universe in his superPAC powered luxuriously appointed time-travelling space ship.
THE MENTALIST
SPONGEBRAIN SQUAREPANTS At Bikini Bottom Hospital Dr. Ben Carson voiced by Ben Carson is popular with patients but unfortunately loses six medical malpractice lawsuits and a foreclosure on his seaside villa. When asked how he could leave a sponge in a patient's brain Dr. Carson explains the patient was also a sponge.
SPONGEBRAIN SQUAREPANTS
WEEKLY STAND UP Bill Krystal of the Weekly Standard magazine has been a continuing source of levity for 20 years. No political commentator or author has been more consistently wrong, often hilariously wrong, in opinion, commentary and predictions than Bill Krystal. TV executives finally realized he's a comedian and put his show on TV.
WEEKLY STAND UP now on TV
PULP FICTION 2 Starring Carly Fiorina, Ted Cruz and Ben Carson. Like the original this film connects intersecting storylines, an unconventional style and frequent use of homage and pastiche. Unlike the original this black comedy lacks comedy and will never make any all-time favorites list. TV Guido wrote "jokes as flat as week-old pizza".
PULP FICTION 2
2 BROKE DOCTORS From the producers of the CBS comedy hit 2 BROKE GIRLS a new spin-off comedy series about two disgraced American doctors who flee to Brazil and establish an illegal but thriving genital piercing and butt and bust enhancement practice. Starring Bill Cosby and Ben Carson with at least 40 female guest stars.
2 BROKE DOCTORS
THE CARSON INFLUENCE The second episode in this series of all advertising masquerading as an important political experiment explores the surge of popularity for the Ben Carson O-ring beard. Hidden cameras watch as Just For Men beard color becomes the K-Mart Blue Light Special triggering a mad scramble in aisle 9.
THE CARSON INFLUENCE
STRAIGHT OUTTA WHARTON Donald Trump plays a record company executive who reunites the surviving members of a 1990's seminal rap group in order to facilitate a contraband smuggling scheme claiming the plan is foolproof because his Wharton School education makes him smarter than any federal law enforcement agency.
STRAIGHT OUTTA WHARTON
BEN CARSON - CHILLER
BEN CARSON TONIGHT Ben Carson gives up his ambitions for the Republican nomination and accepts a lucrative talk show deal that requires he endorse Donald Trump. Carson then gathers all of Trump's most esteemed African American supporters to appear alongside Trump on Carson's first show. Audience reaction has been mixed.
BEN CARSON TONIGHT
ARE YOU EXPERIENCED
CONTALK starring BEN CARSON After Ben played by Ben Carson ends his campaign for the nomination he still has enough money left to buy a radio station and host his own talk show. Within weeks some of the biggest donors to his presidential superPAC are sentenced to prison and Ben finds his niche as a crusader for prison reform.
CONTALK STARRING BEN CARSON
BEN CARSON: THE FACELESS MAN Trepanning expert Ben H'Ghar Carson is open for business in Braavos which is west of Westeros and business is good but the end is nigh. Head plugs are all the rage and the faceless man is the master practitioner of the ancient science of drilling holes into people's skulls to release the evil spirits confusing nonbelievers. However, political and religious conformity in Braavos increase dramatically after corks start popping out of patients skulls at a mass grave digging ceremony and soon everyone professes to believe the party line without hesitation or head plugs. Now with head plugs falling out of favor Ben H'Ghar Carson decides to make a career change into politics and political bookselling.
BEN CARSON: THE FACELESS MAN
RECTIFY THE SITUATION Based on a true story this GOP-TV movie of the week goes behind the scenes into the hidden hemisphere of political medicine and the techniques for damage control when evidence of the dreaded disease of plagiarism is found and a diagnosis is made. Starring Dr. Ben Carson who writes a best selling book and is then diagnosed with the disease after evidence of plagiarism is discovered in his book. Also starring Dr. Rand Paul as a leading plagiarism specialist and survivor of several bouts of plagiarism in his own speeches. He gallantly volunteers to administer the rectification of the situation procedure on his colleague Dr. Carson.
RECTIFY THE SITUATION
BLACK PANZERS This new weekly action series is an inside look at the fictional inner workings of super villain Rupert Murdoch and his insidious plot to turn back time. The Black Panzers were created to put two black faces and a sexy hot white female body on his personal racial and political beliefs. Using modern psychiatric and advertising techniques the Black Panzers strike with military precision at any hint of resistance to the goal of minority voter suppression and the elimination of basic civil rights. Flashbacks to when the boy Murdoch hunted aboriginal peoples for sport provide insight into the fascinating mind of an evil mad man. Check your local listings.
BLACK PANZERS
TRADING PLACES Jamie Lee Curtis reprises her star making 1983 role as a prostitute with a great rack only this time as the mother of the heir to a mega billionaire named Murdoch she throws the billionaire scion of a global empire for a loop by replacing him as her son with her youthful African-American plastic surgeon played by Dr. Ben Carson. Kicked to the curb son James' life comes unglued as his Mum replaces him in all the family photos with the smiling black face of Dr. Ben Carson. And then when Ben moves into Mum's bedroom the rejected son plots his revenge as he struggles to get his Mum's love back.
TRADING PLACES
Revisit the 2012 U.S. Presidential DerbyRevisit the 2012 U.S. Presidential DerbyRevisit the 2012 U.S. Presidential DerbyRevisit the 2012 U.S. Presidential Derby
2012 Presidential Derby!
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